All laws, both written and unwritten, go right out the window when golden tickets are involved. At that point, we temporarily revert to jungle law and it's every man, woman and/or child for themselves until the ticket is redeemed. The risks are great, but so are the rewards. Wait, what were we talking about again?

What?

And what if it's not that extreme? What if she cheated on him and was rubbing it in his face. Like, literally rubbing stained sheets in his face? Not self-defense. Not an excuse to hit her. But is it okay to ask? Is it at all pertinent to the story?

"We hope that the Ukraine will soon come to its senses and stop provoking Russia unnecessarily."

I'm not condoning what Russia is doing, but we should be doing more to prevent them from being provoked.

Stephen A may never have laid a hand on a woman, but it's quite obvious from this series of tweets that he's killed a medium.

Look man, it's hard to remember the names of my favorite Brazilian fart videos. Copy and paste is my only option.

You and all your important shit.

She said she played a role in the incident. Woman or man, 99.99% of the time it's not OK to hit someone. But if she played a role in the incident, she has some level of blame.

chupacabra69: Will this bitch still cook tho?

Wilt Chamberlain, in a very narrow sense of the word battered?

Why does Jezebel feel the need to tell everyone how they can speak? Maybe the rest of you like being spoken to in that tone of voice, but I don't.

Haven't you heard? This is the week for Jews to force stuff on people. Look out, Germany!

Grow up.

Well tops on the fake apologies list is my neighbor Gary with his classic "Sorry I banged your wife, but maybe if your dick wasn't so small?"

The same guy who finished ranked #1 in the world last year? The only golfer 99% of people who watch golf care about? Right definitely cover him less.

What other areas of business might get hit with this new precedent? Milk costs too much, so the next town over's mayor has the city government open up a no frills store just selling milk for zero profit. Oil changes? Too much mark up. We'll have a city-sponsored store that does this for SUPER cheap.

I played baseball until I was 14, so I think I know a little bit about this subject. I never had to show up "hours" before a game. And definitely never "watched tape." Nice try, though.

They were both Irish. They were both born during Woodrow Wilson's administration. They were both cold warriors. They both supported tax cuts. They were both shot. They both had Vice Presidents from Texas.

I thought this was America. What happened to free speech?!