Let's pretend every writer is single. Who's most likely to get pregnancy trapped after a one-night stand? My money's on Barry. Strong last name.

On one hand, Joe Maddon's brain. On the other hand, Sexy Brad Ausmus's dreamy factor.

Does this mean we can be complete douchebags and start saying "New England are," as opposed to "is?"

You guys are conviently burying the lede, which is that MICHAEL SAM IS A DISTRACTION

Any information as to why riot charges?

So, needless to say, you weren't a tight end.

Wait, I thought this site said The Daily Show is a sexist boys club ran by a misogynistic asshole.

Not being pretentious fuckwits and instead using proper singular/plural words in relation to team names, for starters. Unless, of course, the World Cup is on (Ahem, Deadspin).

"The Dollars could react violently to the implosion of their record $240 million payroll"

Agreed, like when Gawker Media kept the leaked Hulk Hogan sex tape on its front page. This whole company enables sexual assault.

"so appealing to the Supreme Court is essentially tattle-tailing on the lower courts in a childlike tantrum because they didn't get what they wanted"

Yeah, but that aside, how did you like the column?

I'm in my mid-20s and had no idea what that meant. Either I'm old. beyond my years, or Ley has officially reached that point in his life where he tries using youngin lingo and fails like a jive turkey.

Yeah, but I'm okay with it. My guilt is outweighed by my love of jetskis.

Royals hosed themselves, losing the season series with the Tigers to the tune of something along the lines of 12-6.

Expansion! Sweet, sweet, completely unnecessary expansion!

Eagerly awaiting STDs: Ranked.

Because 1's the loneliest number, bruh.

Or in the case of Ocho Cinco, a guy who worships himself.

How dare the NFL cost this man his 72 Tebows.