He's so gorgeous I stopped breathing as I scrolled past this.

2004 was a terrible time to be alive

HAH just referenced above

I remember when Ryan Cabrera was dating Ashlee “living in the shadow of someone else’s DREAM!” Simpson

She also supposedly delivered the baby with one push, so maybe airplanes are conducive to the act of birthing.

My eye has been twitching for TWO WEEKS. I am a hair away from total batshit. That picture freaked me out though. I kept noticing it out of the corner of my eye and it took a minute to realize she was winking.

It freaked me out a little bit, too. For a moment I wondered whether I’d had too much coffee this morning.

My left eye has been twitching like crazy for two months as well! It’s scary. I just started putting artificial tears in after googling that dry eyes might be the culprit. I think it’s working, give it a shot guys

I was sitting in my car yesterday and out of the blue I thought about the debate on Veep - in which Selina had the eye twitch - and it dawned on me that Julia Louis-Dreyfus had to fake it, and how hard is that?? Give the woman an Oscar, twitching your eyelid on command is beyond Meryl-level acting!

MINE TOO

I have a Pavlovian response to hearing about A Star is Born and watching this:

i just threw up a little in my mouth

This was literally me when I heard Beibs deactivated his account:

Officer, officer, she has a bomb... in my heart ;)

Really slow day for gossip huh?

My ex’s mom used to make a thing called “Cherry Soup.” It was cold and had pasta in it for some reason. It was disgusting and I’m so happy I didn’t marry him cuz what if he wanted me to make that shit for him.

Call me now! (Too soon?)

Now that's a face you can trust.

MAGIC PUG TELL ME MY FUUUUTUUUUURRRREEE