I’m sorry but I would’ve been on some Grand Theft Auto shit and knocked his ass off his bike of he had broken my mirror and I would have told the cops I did it too.

My sister, notoriously shitty gift-giver bought me that DVD in TWENTY-TWELVE for Christmas. (I don’t even own a DVD player) It genuinely pissed me off.

You never had me. You never had your car.

oversexed, arrogant, and a danger to kids.

Not as high as he was...

What having a good code reader AND familiarity with the car gives a person is CONFIDENCE. I would not purchase an ODB-II car without brand specific diagnostic software. I consider it a must at this point.

Was there a time recently when we were supposed to do that? I remember reading Crichton’s The Andromeda Strain and when a character had a grand mal seizure another character told a bystander NOT to put something in the patient’s mouth but simply to keep a foot under the patient’s head to keep it from banging against…

I cook turkeys the same way I barbecue- low and slow. An 18 lb turkey cooked at 275F for 12 hours with a pan of apple cider in the oven comes out absolutely perfect.

I cook turkeys the same way I barbecue- low and slow. An 18 lb turkey cooked at 275F for 12 hours with a pan of…

I have never used a meat thermometer in my 20 years of cooking turkey and have never had a problem. I just go by the “pull the leg” method.

I have never used a meat thermometer in my 20 years of cooking turkey and have never had a problem. I just go by the…

I don’t even understand this at all anymore. Hold down the home button, say “siri, text person, Hey, I’ll be there soon. Need me to pick anything up?”. Siri responds and asks you if you want to send it, you say yes, keeping eyes on the road the whole time, and only briefly feeling for the home button.

If said person…

Wow! Did they hire Mansory or is this really something they barfed out themselves? Who ever said Ferrari had an ugly problem was wrong, because this is more like an ugly crisis. Jeez.

What if most of you family swears like a sailor, but you don’t and when you do swear, they just laugh at you because you sound so awkward doing it. I need help on how to be a better swearer

Why the fuck would I want to?

Oh jeez. Get over that. Companies need money, inBev has money, win win.

The only countries with ‘America’ in their names are the United States of America, and American Somoa. Residents of both are American in name and nationality.

Law is very much influenced by your salary. My wife is an attorney, and they have to send clients away on regular bases because they can’t afford them. A simple DUI case is $5000 - complicated one can run into double that, and now with Felony DUI laws in Colorado, those numbers can get out of control easily.