Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

*sigh*

God damn, that’s sad. Fuck.

(sound of crickets)

James Dolan was born on third, meandered back to second and yelled “TOUCHDOWN!”

Can I give you a negative star for that cold take ?

It sure makes it seem like Fultz is at odds with the Sixers’ front office, and is possibly seeking proof that his injury is physical rather than mental.  

+1 rock over London, +1 rock on Chicago

Maybe a Wesley Willis fan.

“like a piece of shit stuck on a Bison’s Ass”

Keep in mind we are just one Mo Williams tackle and the Red Sox acquiring a failed power hitter out of Minnesota, removed from Bill Simmons turning into the second coming of the BTK Killer.

Wow you just went from having made my Friday afternoon with the headline, to crushing it with that Tim news. This place won’t be the same without him 

I have to give proper headline credit here to our dear, departing Tim Burke, who fired off about 10 of them when he heard the news.

This has to be one of the best headlines ever published on Deadspin. 

“This has put me in a difficult position where I must pick one or the other - and as a result I pick mother.”

God Bless Inspector Gadget.

Just a bunch of white sportscasters thinking their opinons are representaive of the whole Philly population. Me as black man, I can’t stand that radio station.

If seducing an unmarried person is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Knowwhattamean? (wink wink)

If we do that, everybody gets one ball, and we draw balls for every position, not just the first three and then let the records determine the rest.

Oh God, thank you Tom Ley. I’ve been arguing for this for years and was beginning to think I was crazy. Mention that around certain fans and they react as if you said you were a proponent of eugenics, despite it being the only real way to instantly eliminate tanking.