Somehow I doubt that’ll be the worst moment in Syria today.

wtf? this isn’t the funbag... i understand you’re on vacation or some bullshit but to post a column on a tuesday with the title being a questions? I had gotten my hopes up that I’d have something to do during my 1:10 class but now I’ll have to watch some replay on ESPN3.

“Honey, remember that guy who cut dad off without using his turn signal? Hitler was a lot like that guy.”

Correction: Hitler was about to be taken by The Russians when he offed himself.

1. Spanish-speaking soccer announcers
2. Gus Johnson
3. This hockey ref
...
9837. Joe Buck

If you think that’s too much, Lincecum used to dab before, during and after games.

Mine is a similar story, but no FIFA: Didier Drogba and Chelsea were my gateway drug. I remember watching the World Cup, then later seeing the rosters for RM, Barcelona, and Bayern and thinking, “Holy hell...”

Bayern has the second cheapest season tickets in the league. All clubs are 51% percent minimum owned by supporters. Red Bull Leipzig is an exception sadly.

Just another reason why I love Bayern. You know, the club paying off their stadium loan 19 years early.

When asked to comment about bees clearing out the Cub’s bullpen, Dusty Baker replied, “Wait, we had a bullpen?”

I hope that one of these notifications is someone saying “Hey, Jeffrey you punched a woman in the face. Shut the fuck up for awhile. And don’t punch women in the face.”

I am not interested in the excuses of men who hit women.

What? This isn't the women's World Cup. Billions of people will watch this. Losing the US Market wouldn't hurt that much since people will still watch. 25 million tuning into a US group stage fixture is nothing.