;)

RIGHT?!? There are maybe 8 chips on that plate. I typically have more on my shirt when I finish my lunch.

They skimped on your Doritos. I feel like Sophia would have called that nonsense out.

Depreciation really kicked in hard this year.

This was my exact thought as well, baby!

Man, I ain’t go no quarrel with the North Koreans. Send them to Alabama (and take away their cell phones)

See also: Peyton Manning.

I don’t wanna get near you. I’m glad you got the fish.

“Well, we heard about everybody really getting into this ‘fantasy football’ thing, so we figured we’d give it a try!”—Maccagnan

This comes up all the time, and every single time the answer is the same: over the last 10 years, the Patriots’ win % against the division is very nearly exactly the same as their winning % against the rest of the NFL (around .750).

Trust me, as a Jets fan, that was them trying.

part of being the best at anything is giving a shit. the reason the ‘Big 4' have held on at the top for so long comes down to this more than anything else.

Lets be real, he will never win a grand slam.

Counterpoint: Dudes not that tight, despite him being on Deadspin’s list of “Average athletes we insist on ramming down your throat.”

And when I give a shit, I’m the future of this company.

A petulant, entitled [insert: Nick or whomever comes to mind...] should not be lauded. The attention only reinforces the bad behavior. I don’t care about his potential; I’m not interested in “giving him a chance.”

Does this motherfucker own any other facial expressions?

Look at the way the car behaves after hitting the barrier. It sways, moves over and SNAPS to follow the new course of the road. That’s impressive. The autopilot system kept working after impact and appears to have kept the car rolling in the correct lane of traffic with the hazards on. Technology is awesome. Just, in…

I like the new features. Only because I fear all the inattentive drivers I see on every excursion.