Because clicks, next question?

I do think it’s important to call out Tebow’s presence in the Mets’ organization as the marketing ploy that it is. The easiest and most direct way to do that is to continually remind people that Tebow is in fact a dreadful baseball player.

Just chiming in here to say that I live in Portland and CYCLISTS ARE THE GODDAMN DEVIL.

I’ll be honest. I thought the “Dutch Reach” was going to be...something else. But this is good too!

Put it under the sill, the rotor is free to spin and move and it’s a sprung part so the car might still bounce off your face.

No way would Schilling ever bet on Kapernick.

Step One: Contact your attorney and make sure he’s ready for the lawsuits when the crash investigation team reveals the real cause of your accident...

I was a restaurant manager for years, and my favorite nights were the ones when the dishwasher quit/called in sick/no-showed and I would roll up my sleeves, act as dishwasher for the night, and shut my brain off for a few hours.

Kinda sounds like you’re the asshole here.

is that what the kids call it now? Cleaning the skillet?

That happened the last time I came back from there, gf got a little frisky and I asked her to please just let me be, and then I sweat through her sheets.

My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

I don’t know why people are so upset by that conversation. Why, what Trump said called to mind one of the most romantic scenes in film history:

Karma for getting rid of the cute dolphin with a cute little helmet.

Ted Ginn had double-digit TDs and was starting in the Super Bowl last year, while Miami was trotting out Kenny Stills, Greg Jennings, and DeVante Parker on their way to another 6-10 season. Hell, even Mike Wallace looks competent now that he’s on a different team.

I’m trying to think of good NFL players on their roster. I can come up with Suh, Wake and Jarvis Landry. I cannot think of another player who at they very least is an above average NFL player now.

Led by Mike Tannenbaum

Wild card birth? They’re giving birth to wild cards?

I hope you’re rich enough to fight that murder charge, then.

“...forcing players to bathe in giant tubs, and then removing them with a harness-and-pulley system that safely places them back on dry land.”