“I put lipstick on a pig,” Schwartz told Mayer of his role in legitimizing Trump.

Is it just me, or do VPs just seem sort of unnecessary and superfluous in this election? Like, I don’t think there’s a chance Hillary’s VP choice will change anyone’s opinion of her. Trump choosing a “serious” vice president isn’t going to make him suddenly act more presidential. The VP debates are basically going to…

“We should destroy them with kinetic power, using various weapons starting with predators and frankly just killing them.”

can Colin Jost please ask out Leslie Jones?

*takes off rings, prepares to fight*

It’s been said before, but the gun safety advocates need to start using the tactics of anti-abortion groups.

jia, i miss you already and to show my support i have taken my parents’ login for subscribed to the new yorker.

one of my best guy friends drunkenly confided to me that he spent $27,000 on his fiance’s ring. he’s also finance in NYC.

i am a very distant relative of hers and sometimes i get a sore mouth* so yes without a doubt this is true.

Interestingly, “s*x” could also be interpreted as “six”, which is coincidentally exactly how many seconds their first bang sesh will last.

The department’s spokesperson Cpl. L’Jean McKneelytold The Advocate that officers were usually given “a day or so to go home and think about it” before being interviewed.

However, footage was taken by the squad car’s dashboard camera.

Unforced error, indeed. Bill’s move really taints the whole thing - you can bet Trump will be using the “Crooked Hillary” name through Election Day... and years afterwards, probably.

I really, really want you to draw eyebrows on Hiro sometime.

Ugh, why do English people have to be so smart and sensible? Look at this shapeless man with a golden shitstained rug on his head, promising things he can’t give (with classist and racist undertones), but ultimately deciding that it would be the greatest humiliation and dumpster fire to actually run for highest…

And when he does donate, it tends to be things like free rounds at his golf course or a stay at one of his hotels. He will do anything he can to avoid actually opening his wallet. It’s despicable.

Yes. YES.

I would say, “what’s it going to take for things to change? A congressman being killed by their spouse in a domestic dispute? A congressman’s daughter? Son?”