I hope you read Order of Splendor, just for reference.

my company is doing a pool and out of 40 tickets, 7 of them had a Powerball of 17, 4 had 23 and 3 had 18. Weird how that happens.

you’ll always remember your first time with some powerballs.

bobby when I win I will pay you millions of dollars to ungrey me. MILLIONS, BOBBY.

That sounds pretty reasonable. But is it easy to get elective procedures done? For instance, I have a couple of non-cancerous moles that I’d like to have removed, and also want to get laser treatment on a bad burn. Is it possible to get those if it will already take longer to see a doctor for necessary reasons?

when I feel like a good cry and emotional overload I watch part 1 & 2 of “In the Shadow of Two Gunmen” and also “Noel” (Josh’s PTSD plus Yo Yo Ma doing his beautiful thang).

is it just me or does Babs look pretty amused?

Result: Jeb Bush Flinching

that’s true. I was only partially sarcastic (more just about some people in Hollywood not being a fan). and you’re right, his thing is making people uncomfortable, which has worked to varying degrees. he probably won’t stop until no one’s interested in that type of humor.

Viewer: I’m offended by a joke you made. Me: So? Viewer: You gonna apologise? Me: No. Viewer: Then I won’t watch you again. Me: Correct

she is absolutely fucking up my bracket so hard. I couldn’t imagine that she would make it past this week as the crazy is so incredibly obvious and there’s no way Ben is into her. ah, producer manipulation...

silly, there’s no producer manipulation in the bachelor!

Well, 10 million off the bat, and then I’d like to continue the same amount every year!

That’s my number 3 task to do (after establish trust to lock away most funds so people can’t kidnap me - hey, it could happen - and also starting a philanthropic foundation in my family’s name). Once that’s all done. I’m donating a cool 10 mil to Planned Parenthood (split between National and the most at-risk states…

swear to god if she heckles Obama I will come down there and kick her ass all by myself

*insert Orange is the New Black gif of Crazy Eyes hitting on Piper*

i wish i could go back in time and give you my library card so you could have researched texas before moving

Umm, just because we don’t HAVE to be a fear-ridden country, doesn’t mean we SHOULDN’T.

veni, vidi, heroin-vici

over/under on the mayor parading out his “black friends” soon?