If I worked there I’d rather they look out for me by providing stellar health insurance and 401k matching. I turned 26 a month ago and suddenly I’m an Old who is deeply concerned about these things...

This story also reminds me of the one about the English guy who blacked out at a party and woke up in Paris. Drugs are whack, yo!

What about youtube? Do they make money off of that?

now that I’m an adult I’m convinced that santa is actually a squirrel in a suit because a couple months ago a squirrel came down my chimney, ate food, and left shitty presents in the living room

Serena for prez

Hey! Law enforcement! Pro Tip: if you want people to actually trust, respect and not fear you, you should really fucking protect and serve them (reminder: that’s your mission & motto) and act in such a way that deserves trust and respect.

I support that, but please record it so that every single age from 1 - 120 is listed. Maybe up to 130 just to cover all our bases!

Houston is KILLIN’ IT today.

Also:

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?

ohshitohshitohshit I got TLC and Lifetime mixed up

“There are six yellow Starbursts in this 20-pack. WHY IS THIS ALL YELLOW STARBURSTS?!”

Can’t wait to watch her try and dance out of this boondoggle.

Coming this winter, Dance Cons, only on TLC!

In my dreams she will get imprisoned, teach all the other prisoners to dance, and put on a performance the likes of which this world has never seen.

On the positive side, this is a really pretty photo of her!