Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

The near total absence of eyebrows is always so unsettling.

He's already covered in Rio poop-water?

I’m getting a strong “wannabe Winona Ryder” vibe.

“See? That was funny” is my new go-to expression

She’s got Stage 4 Theater Kid-itis.

Rob sock jokes will never stop making me laugh.

His hands are YOOGE. Hence the constant stream of admiration and envy from candidates who are orange and less manually endowed.

Is this a tiny wineglass? Or photoshop? Or are his hands really that big. (Especially compared to you-know-who.)

For real though, I’m mainly impressed with the attention to detail in giving that ham sandwich a clitoris.

XO should have run your essay. I like the google approach to resolving conflict. When the King and I first were living together - back before google - I once had to drive his ass to the library to prove he was wrong. He said that marsupials were NOT mammals. I could not let him go on being wrong and we had to go the…

Preach! I am White Boy FaceBlind, and this is my life. I was completely thrown for a loop when I found out there were THREE HEMSWORTHS - wasn’t there just one of them? I can’t tell Chris Pines & Evans apart, but I’m proud to say that I can distinguish between Ryan Gosling (haiiiii, boo) and Ryan Reynolds. Mr.TARDIS…

SOOOO may variations on Kylie / Karley / Kaylie. I taught three Autumns last semester, all of whom were white, none of whom were born in the Fall!!!!!!

spoiler alert: the winner is....

That totally reminds me of ‘Rock of Love’ when Bret Michaels would tell one of the women, “I don’t think you’re here for me.” Then he would get in a hot tub with 3 strippers.

also i haven’t recovered from this yet

Badass. Throwing his phone into a regular sea would have been petty, but throwing it into the Aegean Sea is some Hera level mythological revenge shit.

Your country cares so little for you that it is necessary to start a GoFundMe for such a basic thing as higher education, so little that it is apparently not normal for children like this to go to school after high school, so little that a father can be murdered by your country’s police every month and nothing…

In a recent conversation/gossip catch-up with my college friends, one of them earnestly said “Guys...is anyone else getting really sick of people comparing their babies to fruit on Facebook?”