Jeez man, did Rivera meet your girlfriend at a bar, make intelligent conversation with her, get her number, call her three days later, take her out for a semi-casual dinner at an old neighborhood standby (his treat), drop her off at her doorstep, call her again three days later, take her to a romantic-comedy musical…

Leyland now ranks as the second coolest old person in baseball after Ted Williams.

Average ticket price has done no such thing. In 1964, the average ticket price was 13.01. In 2002, it was 17.85. In 1964, the average salary was about $86k, and in 2002 it was about $2.4 million. (All figures in 2002 dollars) In other words, salaries increased by a factor of almost 30, while ticket prices increased by…

This photo is why Marvin Miller should be in the Hall Of Fame.

You know that cop's going to want a medal.

Followup question: Have I now told so many unfunny jokes that my serious comments are assumed to be more unfunny jokes?

As you all know, ESPN has cast doubt on several aspects of your series by simple steps such as verifying players' enrollment. Deadspin reported that you all never called the OSU registrar's office to verify enrollment until after ESPN did so. My question, in a story like this that you all realized would be…

After reading the results, we can see why.

That's a bold statement.

Using proper channels to give her and her family the chance to properly respond to a story that deeply involves them? How could you??!?

I contacted her and her family through her lawyer. Pretty par for the course!

Destroyed? I'm sorry, did roving bands of angry feminists come through and burn Steubenville to the ground, salting the earth on the way out? Nope! Two boys were put on trial, convicted, and sentenced. Adults were told to take responsibility for their role in what happened. As for Christmas day death threats, that is…

Priceless! Also, something about coffee and grunge music! LOL!

You misspelled Eisenhower.

Aren't strikeouts often judgment calls?

Damnit I can't believe I missed this contest.

From Section 06, The Batter: "the umpire should eliminate hitters walking out of the batter's box without reason"

And the Lakers have already deleted the tweet. Although I think they've made things a little worse. Check out their feed now:

Whoa, rough day? I'm just saying the joke wasn't about your friend, was about the sloppy news story and your friend's name just got mentioned because it's the part of said story.