My soon-to-be ex has been strangely nice to me since the AM story broke. I told him today, “I won’t search the Ashley Madison client list for your name if you promise to give me the All-Clad cookware.” He just laughed uncomfortably.

The minute I found out that Lena Dunham was on Twitter I was just like WHO CARES

That’s because in the DSM it’s called “anorexia”.

Why would anyone pay attention to people named Nancy Jo Sales, Sarah Boboltz and Jacob Brogan about anything other than maybe stock portfolios? The last thing I would ask them about is ANY type of slang.

But, like, didn’t she date John Mayer?

Hacker logic: “I don’t care if you engage in a perfectly legal business enterprise! I am the ultimate digital moral authority and I decide what does and does not qualify as socially acceptable!”

I only like it for the news shows like Dateline, 48 Hours, Snapped (though that’s on Oxygen) and the like. I don’t care for the fake actor re-enactments because it’s always so cheesy and over-dramatic (not that Dateline isn’t overdramatic, but you know what I mean). Deadly Women is the #1 cheese followed by the one…

I avoided using sheeple for fear of being too obvious