I want to start a donut business called Derpy Donuts. We’ll employ talented people to create lovely donuts featuring adorable, original characters that all look just a bit off.

Why can’t we all just come together and be mad that it sounds terrrrrrible?

I’ve been watching/listening to the Game Grumps playthrough of Bloodborne and I find myself badly wanting to play it. Sadly, I have to move in a couple days so I’m busy doing my last minute packing and sorting. I just need to pack up the PS4 and completely remove the temptation until I have time.

The toughest part for me is taking the chunks of available time. I still love playing games but it’s far more common for me to say “You know, I think I’ll just watch something on YouTube or pop in a movie” over playing a game for only an hour or two. I really need to change that because, at this rate, I’ll never get…

Is it strange that this might be the game that sells me on a Switch sooner rather than later? It sounds delightful.

Oh fuck that. I don’t know what The Weeknd eats, other than a crass joke, but I can all but guarantee he’s kind of sick of her packing all those damn bottles in front of the stuff in the back.

As if I needed an excuse but I’ll accept a mention of banana milk.

Oh man, the closest location selling it is two hours away. I’m curious enough to spend a large chunk of a day off making the drive but I’m going to be incredibly disappointed if it’s as overcooked as the venison sandwich was.

Surely, if someone has been dead for over 150 years, it’s fine to drop the “late.” Right? I imagine the majority of Americans know about Lincoln and the circumstances of his death well over a century ago.

My school had two kinds of pizza. A rectangular one topped with cheese and sausage(?) and the other was a round, mini deep dish with fragments of pepperoni and green peppers.

I work in a restaurant and was going to relate a little story about how I had that realization while at work a couple days ago. That was until I remembered that I watched a man ladle sausage gravy onto his watermelon today.

How the hell am I not all over this series? That sounds so stupidly fun.

In similar news, I’ve learned that I have the “tempt fate” power. Before I set out to a friend’s house, I climbed on my bike and started to put on my gloves. I thought, “Ah fuck it. He’s like a mile and a half away. If I wreck, I’ll deal with it” and stuffed my gloves in my tank bag. As I’m passing through the first in…

Inscrutable to outsiders, numerous, chaotic, yet there is a strange kind of organization to it that allows me to find the exact tab I want in an instant.

Well...how was it? You can’t just say that and not tell us what you thought!

I’ve been playing Renegade Ops recently so maybe I’ll keep with that. It makes me think of the Strike series on the Genesis, which I’m a huge fan of. However, I think I’m seeing all the game has to offer and I feel myself losing interest. There’s some fun action but simply not enough helicopter, dammit! *sigh* I found…

I wonder if wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man gets some kind of production credit or if he’s an uncredited cameo. I hope the former because how else will he get his dance studio’s name out there?

It does. I didn’t get that far before getting totally frustrated but I’ve seen footage of it. It’s ridiculous. Timing it out in my head after it fades to black is one thing but doing is another and I’m not in a huge rush to beat my head against that wall again. What’s more irritating is knowing just how close I was to…

I had a Confederate flag plate on my car and that was apparently all the motivation he needed. This being me in my early 20s, 15 years ago, I never gave any thought to the sort of attention it might have garnered. But uh...it’s safe to say I reevaluated some things after that little reveal.

The salesman that sold me my Subaru was a card carrying member of the KKK. Also, during the course of the test drive, he took us out to an empty gravel lot and did donuts in the demo car.