OMG, stop. This feels too likely to become reality!

I have been in my 60s since I was 13.

Cross pens are too thin and slippery.

Doesn’t she have a history of being shitty towards people unless it personally benefits her? I bet she went in there thinking “Trump is my buddy because I was on his TV show and I worked for him, I have the run of the place bitches!” But she wore out her welcome with Kelly limiting access and her antics (reportedly).…

Exactly my feelings about this woman. It also depresses and scares me to no end that the line between entertaining reality television and politics is completely obliterated. We have a reality star in the White House (and I’d be fine with that, if the reality star were in any way a decent person who could do the job…

Sane People: Pizzagate was the stupidest thing ever.

Liechtenstein’s always talkin’ smack. Small principality syndrome.

Someone clearly loved The Revenant and thought “but what if it was SEXY???”

Fishing.

You just need to paste in a link to the tweet, Kinja does all the embedding for you-

That’s right next to where he lays his eggs with the ovipositor just above his tailbone.

Except the property value of surrounding homes.

Yeah, I guess I don’t need to sleep again. You can expect a bill from my therapist for introducing this nightmare fuel into my life.

The plant was acquired by a private equity firm a year ago...

I’m guessing she was trying to spite her 40th closest friend.

I love both of these films.

BE MY BEST FRIEND.

I guess it depends on how realistically James Cameron’s boner is rendered.