Expect a very important phone call soon, Fox News’ Harris Faulkner. Bring the short skirts with you.

So she can brag about having a Jew lawyer, because everyone knows Jew lawyers are the best lawyers. She didn’t specify if their Jew lawyer was a New York Jew lawyer or not because Jesus doesn’t like people who boast.

Did the gheys ruin her first three?

This means more hunting chupacabra programming. Maybe Oprah’s Garage.

Clippy, we hardly knew ye.

He always has his acting career to fall back on.

I figure Trump wants one Obama hasn’t touched.

I heard it often in high school and the military. Beyond that almost never outside Letters to Penthouse.

I turned down the role of Asparagus in the original Broadway production of Cats but you don’t hear me brag about it.

Is a quick round of golf even a thing?

The trick is not to ask too many questions, like woke Twitter user Not Easily Influenced.

Trump’s thought leaders see through this Net Neutrality facade.

Fox News bobblehead Andrew Napolitano today used Jones’ KKK-fighting history as an example of how he really isn’t very liberal at all so it’s OK for Republicans to vote for him. I’m still trying figure that one out.

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I can’t fathom living in a house that big. How could it feel like home and not a hotel? That said, I really want that pool.

What are the odds Trump thinks “big game trophy” refers to the Super Bowl trophy?

Trump’s inability to come up with a good burn should be an impeachable offense.

And she isn’t even a twin.

Kristmas In Hell.