We came this close to having our inboxes flooded with LOGCAT forwards.

Oh, Olivia! Hooking up with Justin Timberlake is such a boner killer. Don't bother texting me, now. I'm turning off my computer, changing out of this cheeto-stained t-shirt and going outside for a while. You just blew the hottest potential online relationship you would have ever had, baby! I don't do sloppy…

Someone ditched the People Skills class at the academy.

I have to agree with Ms. Rittelmeyer in that if she hits me with a thrown rock I am going to be angry regardless of what she says.

@critter42: You guys are right. I don't like Kiss. Never have. None of the cool kids I knew when Kiss first burst on the scene liked them, either. They were pretty much a live action Archies. Sure, Kiss made a ton of money with crap songs and cringe-worthy stage presence but that speaks more about their fans than…

Call that hack a rock god one more time and I will personally mess you up.

I kind of get the impression O'Reilly did that on purpose. Oh, please let it be so.

@kitebro: Yeah, she's not playing their game anymore. Maverick!

Todd would have handled this like a papa grizzly.

"She's in an ocean of a perfect storm, and I'm here to lift her up."

@piratabeata: Or this guy.

@WineInACan: And then there was the day Ken Lay ate at his desk.

This is why I hope I don't die on the toilet.

@lobstr: The perfect Aryan women. Having babies just out of puberty and coaxing acoustic sounds from an electric guitar.

I remember gathering around the TV with my family to watch the L. Ron and Rudolph Christmas Special. Once cleared of body thetans Rudolph's nose begins to glow, Hermey "fair games" his supervisor, and Sam the Snowman is declared SP and shunned by the others.

Haven't seen the like since Norman Mailer sprung Jack Abbot,

@Perhaps Not: Zell Miller, for example.

I know I've posted this before but it is still so true.

That was a Governor's resignation speech done in the style of a Mary Kay cosmetics convention Power Point presentation.