Eh, I think the person entering as the other woman/man should be responsible for their emotions. If they know they are fucking someone who is married and wants to remain that way, it's kinda up to them to determine if they'd be okay with being a side piece or if they are the type to catch feelings. I think you have to…

And this is why I resent people who look at porn at the library where I work…I'm very open-minded and porn-positive but don't involve me in your freaky shit wanting to get caught, that's not what I'm getting paid to do!

Yeah, I don't think it's that crazy if you're in a committed relationship with the implied promise of future sex at a more convenient time. It's basically the reason sex lives suffer so much when people move in together or get married or the like, you feel pretty confident that there is a "later" and it removes all…

My house would be so much cleaner if I followed Angry Raisins' advice instead of yours (which is my current philosophy.) I can't imagine people on their deathbeds wish they'd spent more time staying on top of cleaning their house and fixing small things but right now, I live in a disgusting house of horrors of cat…

I was going to say a variation of this which is "the only person's behavior you can control is your own." I use this a lot in scenarios at work when I'm frustrated with someone and have to chill out (be it a coworker or a patron at the library.) I don't get angry easily (perhaps because I've internalized this motto so…

I don't know if it was the intent but Laura does give off vibes of wanting to get famous and live dangerously because she's a privileged mousey white girl (this is coming from a privileged mousey white girl.) Not to say she doesn't believe in what she's doing but her portrayal comes off as a little bratty to me.

For the actual good of the show, heaven's no, he's boring as hell. BUT if we were actually like "I want Carrie to be happy for Franny to have some semblance of a normal life" then yeah, he's hot and boring and seemed to really care about her. That's not good TV, but I was kinda happy for her to have a normal guy for…

That really was physically unpleasant to watch he played it so believably, good for him. The pool of blood he left in that bed made me feel weak!

That arm band line made me laugh. But I do wonder how many true blue "monogamy is easy" types there are out there? And how many find each other and if monogamy remains easy for their whole life? Because the infidelity stats don't seem to support that as common. I would think rather more people prefer monogamy in an…

I think years of compulsory monogamy with little public discussion of other options just means that the devotes of non-monogamy (at least the most vocal, most annoying) are coming off as glib like "we've solved this whole thing, suckers!" Eventually, I hope, things will balance out and they won't have such a chip on…

Of course most of the Savage Love readers are going to be more open to saying "sure, you just do you!" and don't worry about labels, because that's what's reasonable. But the world isn't reasonable and labels help when someone (usually some kind of well meaning but overly nosy friend or family member) want to know why…

I'm going to accept her leaving Portlandia out of the book as fan service to the die hard SK fans who might mildly resent her TV fame.

You walked through the people? Did an Asian guy give you a Gatorade?

Between he bindi wearing and her "Japanese women as props" AND dressing like a chola in Luxurious she really got a lot of cultural appropriation out of her system in a hurry! It was just such a different time, you can't really be mad at her about it because people just weren't being called out on such things then…

When someone starts talking in the middle of song you know it's serious…

Yeah, the first time they said he had an alibi based on a time card I was like "whatever!" Anyone who ever worked retail before time clocks got more secure has clocked someone in or out (usually not for nefarious girlfriend murdering purposes I would hope, usually "I forgot to clock out" or "I'm running late")

And a ton more domestic violence, not a great comparison.

That's definitely a good point, it really is only Rabia's commentary that starts sounding too biased for me. I was pleasantly surprised it wasn't more biased, which is why I've continued to listen (although the "prisoners talking about Undisclosed" was kind of corny and didn't serve much of a purpose.)

I felt the same way, only opposite, in that I didn't listen at first and then just recently started listening to later episodes. Some of it is too biased to take seriously but some of it has been pretty interesting as long as you take it with giant granules of salt.

I really appreciate your insight in to the case despite the terrible circumstances under which you learned them, thanks for sharing and sorry you went through that.