Good lord. It’s completely unreasonable of me to feel so, since my grandparents emigrated from Kerry in the ‘20s, but that ad gave me a huge swelling of pride. Call it pride in humanity, how's that?

Based on the polls, the referendum will definitely pass, as long as everyone who says they’ll vote yes does so. (After last week’s British election stunner, this is hardly a sure thing.)

Somewhat off-topic: I saw Salma Hayek on one of the horrendous morning chat shows, pitching the nutritional benefits of crickets. One of the idiot hosts kept on and on and on about tacos. She was cool and calm, but I could see the spark in her eyes that told me “if this fuckhead says ‘tacos’ just one more time, I’m…

I worked at a WTF Mondays

Yup. I had a buddy when I was younger that was regularly taking Brewster’s ice cream to the CLEANERS. He had some scam where would like, ring up lesser orders for people but give them the full order and pocket the change. He always had fat saxx of weed, yo.

I don’t know that I would call the restaurant to complain about pennies but I stopped going to the gas station where you would pay $20 and they would code the pump with $19.99. The first time, I was in a hurry. The second time, I went in and made them give me my change and never went back. 1,000 customers may only net…

Pretty sure this has happened to everyone. First, you feel straight up insulted someone so gross could POSSIBLY think you’d ever date them. Then, you feel straight up disgusted with yourself over the realization that this is how you really think.

Honestly when I get dumped I go into a cycle of “all men suck” so it likely wouldn’t matter HOW attractive the dude was. If he was MORE attractive than the guy who dumped me, I’d think he was trolling me or something.

“I can totally use your emotional pain to put my dick in you!” - Sociopaths.

I worked at a WTF Mondays (yep, just euphemizing for fun now) and the servers that did deliveries in the building and to go orders would pool tips. One server nearly got caught abusing the loyalty card program by running her boyfriend’s card for every order. Nearly being caught, she was not deterred from stealing cash…

Wait, was it an EXTRA $8 per bill (like over the written tip amount) or was she upping her tips to around $8?

The problem here is that she stole too much too fast. You gotta steal pennies, gurl. Nobody cares about pennies.

What an awful person!

Bob Saget did standup at my College in 2008 on the heels of The Aristocrats. When I was standing in line for the bathroom, he cut in front of me, turned around, said, “Sorry, sugartits, gotta make a splash” and slammed the door in my face.

This is so beautiful my heart hurts

Adultosaur.

This information always makes me so fucking infuriated. You know what’s medically dangerous? PREGNANCY. With an abortion, you get some anesthesia and zip bop bippity pop, it’s done. With my C-section, they gutted me open, put my uterus and intestine on my belly, and then sewed it all back into place. I couldn’t walk…

Yes, the extreme lengths to which he has gone to solidify her princess status, the unhealthy focus on her, and the singling out among her siblings.

Tongue-sticking-out-winky-face emoji is easily one of the LEAST sexy emojis.

“So what’s the Diehl with sexting interns?”