He’s still an elected official, therefore likely considered a pillar of his community. He’s a landlord, thus privileged over his renter victims. He’s also a white guy. He is in every way the type of person cops usually defer to and believe. Privilege and power are more than just wealth.

I want to open a restaurant chain called “Flanders” where all the servers have to wear bushy mustaches and tight ski pants. And they will all be required to know sexy Flanders moves.

My cousins family invited us to a Hooters for his 15th birthday. They made him stand on the table with a stupid hat while the waitresses sang happy birthday to him and signed his stomach. It was really, really fucking bizarre.

Maybe it’s zombie porn!

Cue Kate Monster and Trekkie Monster.

Right? I was like, what in the world is a morbid depiction of sex? Like necrophilia stuff, or just “our marriage is dying let’s just halfheartedly knock out a quick one so we can get back to watching TV” stuff?

*cum

okay thank god i thought i was the only one who thought that was a weird word choice

I’m not bothered by the porn. I’m bothered by the fact that Jeb decided that in 2005, in the twilight of the home video business, he thought it would be a good time to invest in the brick and mortor home movie rental busines. I mean, i know people can’t see the future. However, look at this nugget from Wikipedia about…

And a shout out to all those people that are trying against all odds to still make it work when everybody else wants them to get away.

This is my mother minus drinking plus that EXACT haircut.

Now, let’s hear the armchair theories as to how this will ruin the economy!

The thing I never understand about faith is that if yours is so strong, why do you give a shit what anyone else does.

I once didn’t poop for like three days on a camping trip, so I’m pretty sure I’m a gastroenterologist.

Shut up, ME TOO! (meaning I’m from Waukesha, not that I banged someone on the public library.) Also, between this and the SlenderMan thing, WTF, Waukesha?

I blame Gov. Walker.

NEW YORK SUCKS CHICAGO NUMBER ONE WOOOOOO

A few people have raised the questions “gee, isn’t this normal for the court system,” so I’ll address on this comment (with all respect to the other commenters who’ve asked, I’m only going to do it this one time).