How can that get posted here once it ‘s done?!

Or a full time English teacher.

I love you.

I know that he’s a sex god who can do no wrong, but, is it just me or do those glasses fit him really awkwardly? Like, aren’t the bent parts of the arms supposed to be more around your ear? Am I the only one who notices this? Have my been wearing my glasses wrong everyday since I got them in the 6th grade?*

Yeah...puckering is what my dog’s asshole does when he’s about to poop and holding off till the last second to find that perfect patch of grass. If my nipples did that when touched, I’d be extremely concerned.

LORD.

Oppression isn’t a contest.

Stopping eating meat is the single most effective thing an individual can do for the environment. More than stopping driving, or turning off lights - cutting back/not eating meat is incredibly useful.

Jesus.

Is this the plot of a movie I haven’t seen?

YES! It was a hidden little gem that didn’t seem hugely corporatized. RIP.

My little brother somehow fell onto a bed frame at Disney World in our hotel room and split his head open and got rushed off to the Most Magical Urgent Care on Earth.

It’s so sad. The Frozen ride is replacing The Maelstrom, the hidden gem in the Norway pavillion where gorgeous Norwegian model people guide you into a boat and you learn about vikings and trolls and ADVENTURE. It’s my favorite ride and now it’s replaced by stupid Frozen because that movie kinda takes place in…

I watched this movie for the first time recently and was like “...wait...what...the...FUCK IS THIS SHIT?” This classic that people have been harassing for years about not seeing is incredibly racist? What even IS this character? Am I taking crazy pills? Does no one else notice/care?????????

PSA: Fat =/= bad. It’s extremely essential for your brain and body to function. The fat in nuts is hella good for you. Eat them. Eat them all.

What the actual fuck is that video!? And why was it so hilarious? Am I a monster??? (yes).

I think it’s Katy Perry’s thumb which LOOKS JUST LIKE A TINY DICK

THANK YOU

I hate the weird random filler non-descriptions: caramel cocoa CLUSTER. Come on. Are there there really CLUSTERS of caramel and cocoa in there? Or clusters of cocoa-flavored caramel? Caramel-flavored Cocoa? Actual cocoa powder can’t be in clusters it would dissolve but I guess you could have cocoa chunks that you’d…

Riiiiiiiiight. I was an unplanned baby (and I’m a twin, so that was SUPER fun for my poor mom) and, well, yeah, it DOES feel kinda nice that she chose to have my brother and I even though she was young, poor and unmarried at the time because she wanted to and not because she had weird religious convictions or…