Like it matters. With Barack HUSSEIN Obama in the White House, we'll all be speaking MUSLIM within a few years anyway!

Don't worry, it's Fine.

You can definitely tell this guy listened to the radio edit version.

Someone needs to tell Jonah Hill the quaaludes he stole from the Wolf of Wall Street set were just sugar pills.

He's always been a little edgy. Like the time he found out the anchorman was banging his wife, and he said "Bundle up because it's going to be cuckold out there today" and sulked off the set.

JASON KEIDEL, RUMORED CHILD MOLESTER continues to fight these vicious accusations.

THE NETHERLANDS WERE ROBBED

Never Forget

Why would somebody think that JASON KEIDEL MOLESTS CHILDREN? I've actually never heard somebody say that JASON KEIDEL MOLESTS CHILDREN before. Has JASON KEIDEL ever been ACCUSED OF MOLESTING CHILDREN? I guess you are right, though. The only way we can be sure the whole JASON KEIDEL MOLESTS CHILDREN narrative is…

I think Jason Keidel, who obviously doesn't molest children, really needs to put out a few columns on the subject to disprove to all those idiots that think JASON KEIDEL MOLESTS CHILDREN.

Lynch was expected to expose himself for less than 45 minutes, and he was more than able to accommodate.... Even the few answers he gave were dripping with irritation.

So wait, let me try and understand this as I have a tendency to gloss over portions of text. Is this guy actually saying that it's somehow Marshawn Lynch's responsibility to convince a small racist subsection of the population that he doesn't in fact fit into any of the bigoted garbage stereotypes that said…

I will admit to being ashamed by it, but someone brought buffalo chicken dip over for a recent get-together of a potluck nature, and I have to say it was pretty damned good. I didn't feel proud of enjoying it, for reasons I can't explain, but it was the first thing to be finished in a house full of artisanal…

I respect your judgment, especially after hearing your words about the criminally-underrated tzatziki. I will still need to try this buffalo chicken monstrosity, however. Also, the thing about this Final Four is that I think many people have a horrible conception of what constitutes salsa (and guac, for that matter).…

Isn't onion dip just sour cream with dehydrated onions mixed in? I'm shocked it was even in the top 32, much less considered a favorite by you people.

Here's the rule: If you didn't put up your National Banner while the players were enrolled at the school, you can't claim a National Championship. When Duke finally won a few titles, UNC had to put up a National Champions banner for 1924 that was somehow equal to winning the tournament. When did UNC get this honor?…

It's extremely common in the soccer world. After the really big leagues, it's a lot like the USFL and the ABA out there. One thing that a lot of foreign players have said about MLS is that the checks come and they don't bounce.

They got Wendi Nix perfect.

You must adhere to the "the number of kids cannot exceed the age of the birthday boy/girl" rule. This is critical to keeping things under control. Kid is turning seven? Great, you get to invite at most six friends. If people don't like it? Fuck them. This is the type of hard and fast rule that prevents society from…

So when's the party?