Selfish Act Not Self-ish

Congratulations to Kansas - it’s your turn to be the dick in this relationship.

The two teams have played each other 281 times now, we’re probably past the “familiarity breeds contempt” rivalary phase and now into the “is this all there is in this miserable rectangular state” existential dread phase

Here’s the rejected design commemorating his free throw prowess.

Whenever I start feeling like I’m a little too cultured and high-brow, all I have to do is read a round-up like this. The fact that a 37 year old woman would be crying with laughter over poop stories proves that I will never really grow up.

Kobe’s post-retirement statue is going to look pretty epic when they put it right under Shaq’s ass.

Oddly enough, the life sized bronze statue will in fact weigh less than the real Shaq.

That’s the worst of it. The NHL fucked over his wife and kids over this.

What I never understood throughout this whole situation is how the NHL or the Coyotes were upset over an NHL player winning the fan vote. The fans voted and the guy won it. The All Star Game is mainly for the fans, that is why the fans vote. Now to try and get John Scott out of the ASG, his family has been displaced…

I think the NBA All-Star Game halftime show would be at least 10% better if Sting audbily sharts while singing.

I can’t even continue chewing a piece of gum if I’ve walked into a bathroom with it in my mouth. Picking something up off the floor of the stall and eating it? I just don’t have words for my revulsion.

You still wipe?

the motherfucker picked up that one touching the floor and ate it.

That crinkling sound was him opening the crackers, which he then PUT DOWN ON THE FLOOR.

My dad’s working on the TV crew at the All-Star game again, and that has me pumped. If he was on the ice!?...I’d wonder what the hell a 68 year-old is doing out there.

I don’t even want to look up what an “Alaskan Bus Ride” is. Whatever you have to do, I guess.

He knew he wasn’t Crosby

I don’t see what the big deal is. Did you guys know KOBE BRYANT is an All-Star this year?

Uh, kids are stupid. Even if your dad isn’t “talented” enough to be an allstar, they would be super fuckin’ psyched about it. I’d imagining 9 year old me who was super stoked just to get an autographed Jaromir Jagr card. Now, I’m thinking, what if that car was my dad’s all star card. That would be even cooler.