My dear Zeta Kai! Such perception will undoubtedly serve you well in all your endeavors. As it happens, my generous serving system is admittedly open to both interpretation and caterer's whim, but the general hierarchy follows a certain trend.

I certainly don't enjoy my esteemed position for the financial benefits, I'll confide! "The Flirty Cardassian Waitress Chat Bar and Kanar-Distillery" will have to remain a distant dream, though, at least for now.

A particularly unwise decision, but I suppose it does demonstrate a certain stalwart obliviousness. My dear anon_user, one can never be certain of anything! We'll simply have to learn to live inside the mystery. I'll have to save my charming (if lengthy) anecdote about mystery tasting and Slug-o-cola Zero for another…

The AV Club
WIZARD FIGHT ON THE PROMENADE

Are you thinking of joining the restaurant business, my dear anon_user? I'd say you have the lobes, alright!

You know that universal translator; unforgivably terracentric! As for your drink, nothing quite compliments such technical and linguistic pedantry like a Slug-o-cola… the slimiest cola in the galaxy! See, you just can't program such soulful bickering like this.

Your kanar is on the house, Spicoli323!

I'm going to need a few more kanars before I start pondering those ones!

I'd happily bring a crate of kanar along if you did - for the strict purposes of conversational lubrication, you understand.

Have a kanar before you go, my dear Random Internet Trek Dork - and rest assured you aren't alone in your sentiments.

With good reason, I should think. Why he didn't simply loose a few voles to accidentally chew through the power conduits every once in a while, I'll never know.

I think you'll find it's the customers who are the extraterrestrial assholes! Other than that - quite right, my dear Douay, quite right. Holograms, coming out of their fancy suites, taking our jobs… it's enough to make you shed your skin prematurely.

You beat me to it this time, my dear Yuri.

Are you implying just any old android can aspire to the noble heights of barmaidery? Tsk tsk, sir. Fish juice for you.

If you've already got 'Chain of Command' on your list, might I recommend 'The Wounded'?

Whyever else?

May I add a personal irritation to your list? Seska.

And what, they just use it for medical research, creating bioweapons and as substandard components in wandering starships? Ha! Suckers!

A generous distinction! I'll have to learn to live with it.

If there is one, my dear Chico, I'm quite content remaining in blissful ignorance. Too much banging of gongs if you ask me…