It’s lame that y’all were just trying to get sexy and she was messing up the vibe. But I appreciate that she’s still warning women about ain’t shit fuckboys from beyond the grave. She a real one. 

I don’t know how the cat did it, but that cat was totally fucking with you.

IT’S TIMEEEEE

Will this finally stop people from asking for that fucking statue back? Let’s just melt it down, closest replication to where he is if there’s any thing as justice.

Uh oh. I accidentally saw an email last night that my cat sent to this photgrapher setting up a special photography session with his wonderful owner NEXT WEEK.

I can only speak for myself but I can’t get past his Charlie Brown head.

Mark, I read the post about you telling Allen that you were getting married ALOUD to my SO. It took until the end when he said, “It’s two dudes?” and I screamed, “Yes! Isn’t it beautiful?”. You reached people you don’t even know about. I will do my best in future to follow you. Just write the shit out of it. Like you…

But there’s really no other way to read that, honestly. His last two words (which I am so not going to repeat, LOL) mean he thinks it’s ridiculous to even ask, which is also not what you’d say if you were saying it’s a rare (as opposed to nonexistent) allergy.

You and the wife come off less impressively in this story than you might think.

I understand, but there’s no way that’s what was happening this time. If someone asks you whether your wife is allergic to something, “almost nobody is allergic to that” would make no sense as an answer. “Nobody is allergic to that” would, however, as it actually answers that question (no).

He wasn’t speaking in broad terms, though, he was definitely saying literally nobody has that allergy. There’s no other way that response makes sense as the answer to a question about whether a single person has it.

Yeah, I mean, I was a vegetarian for 15 years and I still would’ve just picked out the chicken unless it was, like shredded and impossible to eat around. It wasn’t an allergy or a religious thing. It was a choice (with many reasons behind it), it wouldn’t kill me.

The sanctimonious thinking held by many (not all, I know) by vegetarians is mid boggling. Take it off your plate. Don’t eat it. The 6 oz of chicken is already there. It’s dead. It cannot regenerate. Just as I am not saving a poor tomato by not eating it and removing it from my plate, no chicken is dying a horrible…

Um, what was “Tweeting” about finding a piece of chicken in a veggie salad gonna accomplish? I’m guessing/hoping you guys are in your late 20s/early 30s.

I don’t know why YOU’RE face-palming. Check yourself bro.

your wife was going to tweet about it instead of acting like an adult and telling the waiter what was wrong and giving him a chance to fix it? wow, she sounds like a wonderful person.

#1: Retarded? Really?

#2: Yes, yes they can be. It’s rare, but it does happen.

Is it some sort of allergy thing? Couldn’t she have just picked out the piece of chicken? I mean, if I get an onion piece in my salad, I just throw that piece over to the side and don’t make a big deal about it. Raw onions mess me up if I eat them... I’ll taste them for days and sometimes they can upset my stomach, so…

I don’t disagree and it’s a shame that so far this album seems like more of the Adele we’ve already heard and not something different but she does it SO WELL. I also just love HER. She's not as bland a person as the generic floppy haired guys you're talking about.

I think Taylor Swift would be a better comparison for that.