I cannot tell a lie, I am thirsty as fuck for this story.

Everyone in the house should check for skid marks.

Your bias is showing.

Been thinking that forever. Exxxcceeelllentttt.

“God Damn do white conservatives have an ounce of fucking shame?”

Speaking as a member of the LGBTQ community, you’ve hit on exactly why this news is so satisfying.

Is that new testament?

“God Damn do white conservatives have an ounce of fucking shame?”

Grab ‘em by the pussy!

My friends and I were totally sharing this around:

You’re nicer than I am. My Gavin Newsome is thinking, “I put my dick in that!”

Twenty bucks says Gavin Newsome was sitting at home saying thank God I dumped her ass

So you’re saying that a man that has been married three times, filed for bankruptcy multiple times, been sued for breach of contract countless times, asked a foreign adversary to interfere in a Presidential elections and dodged the draft five times, bragged about it and insulted a POW to boot is an untrustworthy…

So the city cut their budget by less than 1% and 100 cops and she quits in protest?

You mean this isn’t hell?

Holy...

Irony is treading in dark corners these days.

What’s that thing the dipshit trolls say when they’re defending police brutality? “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes?”

Not cold, just room temperature. Like Cain.

The local giant gas station has a Godfathers Pizza franchise. I could celebrate his life with some pizza.

Wait for it: Trump’s gonna use this as his “John Lewis” moment to fawn over Cain’s passing and make the service all about himself.