Man, Andres Torres is gonna be PISSED.

A bit of an asshole, maybe, but his assholishness was always probably a little overblown just because he played for Man Utd. I actually kind of like the fact that he gets a swan song with his boyhood team—asshole or not, in his day he was one hell of a player.

Consider Everton (full disclosure: my team). Always good enough to not get laughed out of the room, never good enough to develop a fanbase full of front-running steakheads. Solid history of being “the people’s club” and of employing those few Americans good enough to hack it in the EPL. So they’d be analogous to . . .…

I’m guessing he would have had roughly the same thing to say about the 120,000 Japanese-Americans he chucked into concentration camps.

Seemingly the only sports media asshat who didn’t go to Medill is Skip Bayless, who went to . . . Vanderbilt.

. . . Fenway?

Because they are Northwestern, the ‘Cats were actually called for holding on this play. So they would have gotten the ball back, first and goal at about the 16, whereupon I’m sure they would have found a way to shoot themselves in the dick regardless.

It is true that Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t talk much in The Revenant. It is also true that last year’s Oscar for Best Actor went (deservedly) to Eddie Redmayne for a role in which he spent about half of a two-hour movie neither talking nor moving.