Wearing my ring that I gave to my godmother when she was diagnosed with cancer. She lost her battle this week and my cousin gave me the ring after the funeral. She said that her mom wanted me to have it back. Tears, tears, tears....

I'm confused - Herman and Gloria Cain are the only black people in America? And what's with random Hispanic guy? Are all those people related to Herman? Are they Godfather's franchise owners? Where are the Cain Kids? Why is there a baby in a recording studio? Why is everyone making Granny read the small print?

Bento Boxes For The Win!!!!

I hate, hate, hate the fact that Rob Lowe is giving his time and attention to portraying such an evil real person who has yet to be held accountable for the blood he has on his hands.

Why am I not related to you? Please adopt me.

me

Screw you Rocco - don't come between me and my sangria. I would have said "fuck you" but I don't want to encourage Fred Durst.

Ms. Bias will require:

Courtney's tweets about Santa are the reason why teachers tell children he isn't real. Would you want them to accidentally read and think that shit?

see, and I was always the one who wondered "...is forever, what?" But then again, it was only last year that i went "ohhh...." to the "every kiss begins with Kay" tagline.

I was complaining today about my recent weight gain and a coworker said, "Hey, on tall girls like us it doesn't show". I asked her how tall I am. She thought 5'8" like her. I'm 5'4". She said, "Well, you carry yourself much taller." She also pointed out that having a lovely set of bazooms makes the eye move up…

I thought the car directionals came on to remind my dad when and where he had to turn so we could get wherever we were going. I thought pictures trapped time and that's why you took them so that you literally held your memories captive. If you didn't, you couldn't actually remember anything important.

If you have been in a long-term somewhat cohabitating relationship for 13 years, isn't it really just an extra marriage and not a simple "affair"?

Waiting for the phone call to let me know my godmother has passed and I have to fly home.

When "male poaching", does everyone use vinegar in their water or do you just crack it open and hope the center holds?

Wait...I'm not Mrs. Hugh Jackman? I guess I'm okay if she's the real one.

Yes!

I think it would be awesome to trade the names on Sarah Silverman and Courtney Stoddard's tweets. Or, better, I challenge the Tweeting Public to maintain a new standard - the "Stoddard Standard" - that from this time henceforth, all customary communications shall shiftily sequence their meandering memes with…

Have you ever read Thomas Lynch? He's an amazing author and funeral director.

I love you for this.