Sky Bars!!!!

As someone who still has a phone that flips open (Star Trek shout-out!!!!), I laugh uproariously when people with fancy-schmansy tech get screwed. I am also a fan of letting the phone battery go dead. Why should I be available just because YOU want to talk? Meh!

fuck. now I have to buy an ipad.

Okay, so at my imaginary "invite five people to lunch" lunch that will never happen - I'm sitting with RuPaul, Yoko Ono, Thomas Lynch, Neil Degrasse Tyson and Randi Rhoades and we are all sharing appetizers, giggling and taking pictures with our cellphones. Every so often, the waiter has to come over and ask us to…

The CrazyEyedLadyBus has pulled over to the side of the road. Do not stop to help. Do not alert the authorities. Turn off your lights and drive by her without acknowledgment.

I like to call this "The Catholic Way". It's always worked for me and my kin.

I stand proudly covered with you!

That fuck me voice gets me...I like the way he purrs...

I would give my right arm, left breast and hunk of ass for an opportunity to truly have a glorious make-out session that doesn't lead to anything except awesome oral delight.

I wish I could #COTD this. Succinct and fabulous.

My extremely fat elderly asthmatic kitty can magically flatten himself to get stuck in drawers that were shut tight. He may be a tick masquerading as a feline.

I'm not drawing any insane conclusions without evidence until it's covered on 48 Hours - Mystery or becomes fodder for Nancy Grace.

Because I love her, I forgave her. And did not give into the urge to screw around with her prescriptions. That alone makes me a good daughter.

Whilst visiting my mom and drinking my normal copious amounts of morning coffee, I felt worse each day. By day 3 I was nauseous and my head was spinning. Turns out, my mom has started only drinking decaf. Without telling anyone. It took TWO DAYS of almost non-stop fullbrew DD and Starbucks to make the spins stop.

I salute your Ricky Bobby reference.

Oh...I get to see this everyday at work. I did see a wonderful shirt on one of my students today. it said "This item not available in quiet".

oh god, yes. The same chunckablock of America that voted for Bristol and tried to keep Kate Gosselin alive will support Nancy.

Copy and paste this into an IM to her. My sister and I have a love/hate relationship and she went into the hospital last night. I'm hundreds of miles away and she told my other sister to tell me she loves me. This doesn't mean that we won't go at a million times more. But, I want to have those million and one times…

Thank you. Am staring at this instead of wanting to rip out my husband's heart and beat his insensitive head with it. Perhaps I should get my ass into shavashana.

and this!!!!