I love Guillermo del Toro and will forever be sad that Silent Hills fell through thanks to Konami being a big baby jerkface chunk of buttcheese. With him at the helm, it would have been the best horror game of all time, and maybe one of THE best games period.

I think I saw The American but I’m not sure. Is it the one with George Clooney going down on a prostitute (?) and then the BELABORED STUPID ASS butterfly bullshit at the end? If so: +10 for the cunnilingus scene, -10 for the butterfly, 0 total.

I once saw a tip jar at a HALLMARK STORE. What the hell am I tipping them for, exactly?

Gonna have to agree to disagree with you there. I went to the one in Vegas (had never been to one before) and had a burger, fries, and a salted caramel miso shake. Everything had me in the throes of multiple orgasms. I was EXTREMELY hungry at the time, so that could have had something to do with it, but it was just a…

I’m only partially being snarky here: Lamar’s condition MUST be serious because only one of the Kardashian/Jenner clan has tweeted for the last several hours.

I’ve only walked out of one movie for taste reasons (the other one I walked out of because my worst high school bully sat down behind me and started spitting in my hair), and that was A Day without a Mexican. Oh my god. I’ve sat through more enjoyable Powerpoint presentations at work.

I watched Unfriended last weekend. I also went into it thinking the framing was going to be stupid, but it actually made the movie very immersive. I just wish the last 5 or so seconds hadn’t succumbed to cliche.

She was on Gossip Girl. I’m no expert, but I’d say she’s about a C-lister, which I personally define as someone I’ve heard of but probably wouldn’t recognize if she was in front of me at the grocery store.

Goodbye, fucko.

One of the best quotes about grief I’ve ever read was from Stephen King’s Bag of Bones: “Grief is like a drunken houseguest, always coming back for one more goodbye hug.” It’s really important for people to never say something along the lines of “It’s been [however long], shouldn’t you be over it?” Bitch, I will NEVER…

This looks like a corsage an alien would give his date for Martian prom.

GAH! I didn’t even notice that!

Vigilant Citizen! The website is GOLD:

I thought this was a skeleton hand when I was scrolling down and it creeped me out!

I’ve had this happen before (though not with Shark Tank) and it was OBNOXIOUS. In my case, and hopefully yours, it was just a glitch with the local station affiliate and it cleared itself up.

In regards to the freeloader, I’m wondering if he’s autistic. My brother has Asperger’s, and if he’s not straight up told to bring something or pitch in somehow, he absolutely will not do it. He’s genuinely not trying to be rude, but he doesn’t know how these things work. There was a situation like this recently,…

LIFE GOAL

I’m totally screenprinting this entire page so I can send it to Bonne Bell if they ever stop making Dr Pepper Lipsmackers. “Look at the love! LOOK AT IT.”

The one and only time I ever got in trouble with a teacher was when I was reading Stephen King’s It in home ec. I wish ebooks had been a thing back then, because I blame lugging that frickin’ hardback around for my mild scoliosis. It was over 1000 pages!

YES! We are kindred spirits. It’s the only “makeup” I wear and I will be absolutely bereft if it ever disappears. After the scare last year when Bonne Bell shut down (or changed hands, I don’t remember) I drove to every drugstore and Target in a 10-mile radius and snapped up every last one. They were selling on eBay…