I was thinking of dressing up as Snow White (Fables video game version) this Halloween, so this tutorial is getting bookmarked. Thank you!

Because I hate to shop for clothes, and always have, whenever my family went to the mall, I would spend about an hour with my mom buying school clothes and then she would meet up with my dad and pass me off so she could shop for herself in peace. I was always SUPER excited about this, because it meant about 2 hours of…

Fill a bandolier with your sex toys and wear a long coat. Enjoy your movie!

AUGH, BABYMOON! I hate that one too. It makes me want to punch a wall.

This is not really a funny story, and I’m glad the baby is okay of course, but I still burst out laughing at the top image because I could imagine Abbi and Ilana (Broad City) saying “Safes AREN’T for babies!”

I can’t decide if I like the term “breakover” or if it needs to go away forever, like staycation.

Seriously, what the fuck is up with that apartment layout? It’s like that “impossible” office in The Shining!

I wish I could take credit, but Madeleine Davies came up with it.

Does Donald Trump have an alibi?

“There are not nearly enough seagulls here by the beach. LET’S ADD SOME FAKE ONES!”

Well, shit! Thanks for letting me know; you’ve saved me some cab fare!

I forgot to mention Insert Coins in my previous post. If, like me, you grew up during the heyday of Ms. Pac-Man and other glorious arcade classics, this place is a MUST. They have classic games as well as consoles (PS4, Wii, etc). The classic stand up games cost (I think) 25 or 50 cents, but you can play the console…

What are you even saying? OF COURSE that’s heaven! I’m going to see the Britney show in a couple of weeks and am extremely excited, so I’ll be tracking down the slot machine too. She’s always been a guilty pleasure of mine (not that I really consider any of my pleasures “guilty”) and I can’t wait to see her.

This is perfect timing because I’m going to Vegas by myself in a couple of weeks, and I’m so excited! I like to get out there every couple of years or so because I have a serious soft spot for Vegas, and have since WAY before I was legal to drink/gamble. (I’ve always like shiny things.)

This kind of shit is why A) I will never be a bridesmaid unless forced at gunpoint, and B) if I ever get married, we’re eloping to Vegas. Quickie ceremony officiated by Elvis, creme brulee French toast afterwards, play some slots in my super casual “wedding dress” (plain white shift) and gracefully accept…

Certainly nothing to apologize for (assuming you meant “sorry” in an apology kind of way and not a regretful one).

Jesus Christ. I don’t even know what to say here except that I am so sorry. It’s really inadequate, but I can’t even begin to piece together anything that works.

I’m really curious about this, so if you don’t mind sharing: why on earth did your mother make you write an apology letter to your BULLIES?

Yikes! Yeah, I think if I had gone to the theater specifically to see a comedy, I wouldn’t have been thrilled with choosing Skeleton Twins.

It’s like drinking a Yankee Candle!