I write while my kids are in school (9 to 3) and so my peak time is the 90 min cycle from 10:30 to Noon. Before kids I was a night owl, but now I am able to be creative by keeping a strict schedule — imposed on me by my kids!

Here's one that really needs a revival: The President's Analyst.

Orphan! He's The One! Raise the stakes! Raise the stakes! Save the World! Happy Ending!

I hate to sound like an old fart, but they can start by TURNING DOWN THE VOLUME IN THE MOVIE THEATER! Its just a sign of bad filmmaking/storytelling if they have to crank up the volume and sound effects to keep you emotionally engaged.

I saw him lecture around 1990 and he closed with this analysis. The title of the lecture was "How to get a job like mine". He said that was the title of every lecture he ever gave. Probably true.

All sound advice but I am still waiting for the part where the magic pony comes in and suddenly you make money from it all - or at least enough money to live on - and especially for the first 10 years it takes you to figure out how to write something people will actually pay money to read!

I'm glad you bring this up because this has been my complaint of just about every Sci Fi/Fantasy movie made in recent years (such as Star Trek Into Darkness and Oblivion): they keep thinking that they have to explain everything, when really they should just leave the story open to people's imagination. The end result…

The kids making marriage less enjoyable is probably true, but the deeper truth is explored pretty well in this article in the NYT: raising children is stressful but extremely satisfying.

What I find so astounding is that with such large budgets and so many people involved, somehow someone always seems to forget to hire a writer.

And did you remember to piss all over the floor on your way out?

Oops, you're right! I didn't see them tucked in behind all the others.

I was thinking, where is China? But then I remembered that all that debt to China from the US is probably backed by that huge heap o'gold!

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

Best cure: Suck on a teaspoon of honey. Works every time.

A great book I read before we redid our home was "Not So Big House" which makes the case of designing your house (& your budget) around the things that you do every day - basically make a list of the things you do most in each room and then focus the remodeling on making those things easier and more enjoyable.

My personal passwords vary between "takemycreditcard" and "heynsa!"

Some say, Is there Funk after death? I say, 7-UP?

I smell a Pulitzer, John Cook! Oh, no, wait, that's just butt.

Toddlers sleep 12 hours - you sleep 3 because they are in your bed kicking you!

This button, of course, needs no explanation: