The guy on the left of Harry is the true king of everything.

Do you know how traumatic it was for this guy to taker orders, even theoretically, from a Black President? He’s still not over it, and probably will be on disability for the rest of his life.

America: “Man, the White House is getting pretty trashy, what with Omarosa trying to break into the residence and the president watching TV all the time while leaving oreos and diet coke cans everywhere”

I, hand to Zeus, believe Trump is capable of starting a war with either North Korea or Iran to deflect from the Mueller probe.

In about 2010, my sister and I picked up a 4-pack of standard martini glasses from Target (whatever their house brand is) and each took 2 because we were both too broke to spend the whole $20 or whatever on glasses. Maybe 2 or 3 years ago, with my financial house in a little bit more order, I decided to pick up…

I’d say martini glasses have increased significantly too - even since the 1960s. Any time my $14 martini is poured in anything smaller than a cup I need to use both hands to lift I get irritated. If I’m paying that much for a drink it better be a one and done type situation.  

I’d be more sympathetic if Beyoncé weren’t so keen on using other people’s artistic property without crediting or paying them, herself.

The fact she’s a POC doesn’t change that she’s also a POS.

I adore her. We just watched Girls Trip last night. While overall I thought the movie was just ok (Jada was terrible), Tiffany does in fact steal it and run away with it.

How easy to say, when it’s Billy Bush’s career at stake and not yours.

A 172-page brief? After the time had been served? Well. Shelling out $200k (an educated guess) to clear a criminal record suggests at the very least that his sentencing statement of remorse wasn’t exactly heart-felt.

It’s a weird thing about baby faced guys. They almost always go from baby faced to middle aged with nothing in between. See also: Orson Welles. Probably also Winston Churchill.

Endings don’t look the way we think they well. So many trailing ends, threads, stuffing flying everywhere. There’s no magic amount of things you can try, conversations you can have, chances you can give before it feels “okay” to stop.

Oh, I made a (respectful) negative comment on an article by Megan Reynolds, and the next day I was grey. I’m somewhere between outraged, bummed and in disbelief. It’s so petty, such a display of blatant disregard for their readers, that I haven’t been around much anymore. I like most of the writing and I love you…

Broke up with my boyfriend the other night. Finally admitted to myself that I should do something with my serial monogamy other than start a new relationship. Anyone other Jezzies feel like commiserating?

So, uh, has anyone checked in on Sarah Huckabee Sanders yet?

I knew Trump’s fat sphincter mouth would eventually incriminate him.

DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS A CHEMICAL

This explains his ratings sinking like a stone. Hos attempts at political humor fall flat and the rest is likeca sketch from 25 years ago. Just tired material. (It also explains why I dvr Colbert and Kimmel every night for early am viewing. They have something to say. Fallon, um, doesn’t.)

The Kimmel v. Roy Moore exchange is deeelicious. That is all.