Is anything ever actually said unless a man says it though, really?

If there’s one Obama conspiracy I hope is true, it’s that he’ll declare martial law and try to claim a 3rd term.

A bored Jack Russell is a bad Jack Russell. Elementary, my dear Wishbone.

Yeah, I don’t get the Southwest hate either. Bags fly free, fares are reasonable and I’ve yet to be in a fatal plane crash, which is my No. 1 priority, so I keep flying with them.

I come from a family of American retirees, and had only flown American or Delta until about ten years ago. I gave Southwest a shot on a work trip and have never looked back. I’ve never had a bad experience with Southwest; not one.

Flying sucks. My job used to be 50% travel (all coach) so I think I can say that. The fact that American, Delta, USAir, etc., act like you should feel fucking privileged to set foot on their flying influenza-buses just makes it worse. Southwest’s attitude of, “Yeah, we know this kinda sucks so we’re going to have…

I love when they say weird and funny things. The last Southwest flight I was on we just docked into the gate and the attendant came on and was like ‘Ok everyone get off my plane’ in a deadpan voice. She’d been doing it all flight. I thought she was hilarious.

I was on a Southwest flight where an attendant came on and said “Belts on, everyone - the Captain wants to try something.” Totally out of the blue, no followup. I thought it was awesome and everyone had a good laugh.

Recline away. That bump you feel in the middle of your back? That’s my knees. No, I don’t plan on moving them. Enjoy.

Southwest is pretty relaxed and chill. This sounds like something one of the pilots would do. Very #onbrand.

It’s kind of weird to remember the birthday of someone who you dated for a few months several years ago regardless of age. The ex whose birthday I can remember at all is the one I was married to.

Isn’t John Mayer like 40? He’s too old for that childish shit.

When my mother watches these award shows and recounting them to me, she always feels the need to tell which performers were without pants. lol

My dad did the same thing. Every year the performer is announced for the SB he complains about it being a pop act. He would prefer to see the corpses of 70s rock bands out there, representing the “real” America. But Bruno Mars made him shut up.

I think he was performing at the Super Bowl one year and my super cynical father took a moment from bashing whatever it was he was bashing and stared at the screen in silence for the the remainder of his performance. When Bruno was done, all my dad said was, “wow, that guy is talented”.

Bruno Mars is probably the finest male performer of our generation. COME AT ME.

She also shot herself in the foot with Shonda Rimes. Which I think is a bigger deal.

And what have we learned from Katherine’s adventure in bad mouthing the little comedy that made $219 million domestically and could have given her career a boost that did not include starring in cat litter commercials?

If you’re a complete masochist, Kurt Eichenwald and Newsweek are doing an incredible job of reporting on Trump’s conflicts of interest, general bullshittery and what is possibly at stake. A sampling that will be sure to lead to hair loss and sleep deprivation:

Bridezilla will take my beard off my cold dead face. you can tell your groomsmen / maids what to wear but you ask them to trim, not get rid of, a defining facial feature.