Lauooruh

That’s it! I watch her show and think “I, too, could be an excellent wife if I only had to see you two days a week.” And you know, I think it would work beautifully—you see them often enough, but you also have just enough time away to miss them.

I so badly wish I was Ina’s goddaughter, because you just KNOW she nails that shit. “Come stay for a few days in the Hamptons! Here’s a care package for finals filled with brownies!”

I saw her speak at BAM with Tina Fey earlier this week. Nearly cried. She cursed like a real person and everything! A guy asked her what she does when she fucks up, and her answer was “I never fuck up,” delivered in perfect deadpan. And then she told him that she just orders everyone pizza.

Since I was a wee funk I’ve dreamed of being one her flower shop owning friends that she brings lunch to while picking up a bouquet for her dinner party.

I eagerly await the next volume, Cooking Against Jeffrey, followed by the conclusion of the trilogy, Cooking Jeffrey.

I would too. Like really and truly I would. The older I become, the more I ‘get’ non-traditional relationships.

So what if he is? There are a lot of sexless marriages out there. And if you’re going to have a sexless marriage, have one with an adorable gay man.

I would have rather to have a gay husband who were my best friend and eat all the stuff I cook without complaining that my shitty ex-husband from real life.

I make her Outrageous Brownies as client gifts and take all the credit. But they are freaking amazing.

Except that her “hottie” husband is probably gay and she is acting as his beard. Or vice versa. (At the very least, none of her friends that she invites over seem to be straight men.)

Best food porn on TV, bar none. The production values, especially the way they pick up the sound of wet ingredients, the tinkling of measuring spoons on glass bowls, the crunching......heaven. Makes me want to devour everything in sight, down to the drawer knobs. I’m getting goosebumps just typing about it.

Ina Garten has every reason to be happy, and I fully believe that it’s completely genuine! She’s well liked, attractive, rich, in love in that wonderful way that creates an endless, life-long conversation, and successful at something she adores doing. AND she gets to eat her own cooking all the time!

I love that you used “how fabulous is that?”

There is a lightness—something almost resembling naiveté—to Garten’s elitism that separates her from other rich, white, New England-based chefs like, oh, Martha Stewart—who has a heavier, more condescending gaze.

Ina Garten is responsible for the single greatest tomato soup in my arsenal. She can do no wrong. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/roasted-tomato-basil-soup-recipe.html

Also Jeffrey+Ina are my marriage goals.

Eh, plenty of fathers don’t care about kids, even their own. I think President Obama just has a really soft spot for children. He seems to light up around them.