Presentation prep: Done. Rehearsed speech. Picked outfits. Shoes. Makeup test run. All done.

OMG SJP doesn't know what the word for "tailgating" is omg omg omg omg. If these people ever spent five minutes with me in my house they would set themselves on fire.

It would be better if she realized that racism, sexism, homophobia, etc were important before they directly impacted her. Ignorance - to a certain degree - is fine and everyone has to grow and learn and all that, but when you only recognize that inequality exists when it has some direct relationship to YOUR life then…

I think it's difficult for most people to admit their ignorance the way that Kim Kardashian has with regard to racism. I don't understand the instinct to mock someone for this. Thinking that these issues are everyone else's problem is not actually that uncommon, especially for this generation. So good for her for…

The boy from Florida? Does she mean Treyvon Martin? Could she not even google him?

Have to agree re:white people and ghosts. The other portion is white people who feel *their* racism is justified (science! different cultures! just the way things are!). It's kind of like people who believe in ghosts but not bigfoot on the basis of plausibility. THOSE guys are the crazies, THOSE guys are the *real*…

Sibling double weddings are awesome if you're Lizzie & Jane Bennett!

The body language in this photo is magnificent.

Evil? Evil like Satan? Or evil like one of the lesser demons, like Ba'al or something?

He had just met the squirrel and was taking a selfie without the squirrel's permission. He had it coming.

Squirrels were attacking people taking selfies, and police were confiscating stereos of people who played Celine Dion on repeat. It was as close to karmic justice as humanity ever got.

I will straight up KILL someone for licking me in the Walgreens.

He meant that since her body didn't properly shut down, then it wasn't legitimate rape. Because science.

My aunt makes an evil flan-cake. Not as in pancakes, but as in flan and cake, in an unholy union, in the same dish.

I think Jenny McCarthy's entire existence is embarrassing.

I feel like I want to sit all of the fancy dessert chefs in the world down and remind them that, as a society, we're perfectly good with eating whipped cream from the can.

This guy is like an Onion article that went sentient.

Well, doing so has a long history, the Founding Fathers compared having to pay taxes to Britain to slavery. And that was when they can just walk through Monticello and watch actual slaves work.