You jam econo.

fucking corndogs

Was dog sitting my parents’ dog and somehow he found an Advil Cold and Sinus blister packet with the pill still in it that either my mom or dad had inadvertently dropped somewhere, and ate that. Luckily he left the packet where I found it and luckily it was still wet, meaning he had just done it before I came home to…

I guess it still exists in certain places, I thought it was kaput. My bad.

Google Fiber?

YES!!! It took me decades of life to finally across a pair of jeans that actually fit me decent. I wore them a few days to make sure, declared them my official jeans until the end of time, and proceeded to order 4 more pairs in various colors.

YES!!! It took me decades of life to finally across a pair of jeans that actually fit me decent. I wore them a few…

Would it seem bizarre for Simmons and Stanley to say, “Alright guys, we write songs, and we really want to make it. So, how about Criss and Frehley get day jobs to support the four of us, and while Simmons and Stanley focus on writing songs. When we get a record deal, we will give the non-writers a more favorable…

Yeah, you have to wonder if Bonzo was ambitious enough to stick with it had he not gotten lucky and fell in with Plant, then Page and Jones. If he had, I bet he would have risen to acclaim. Probably would have ended up drinking himself to dea — oh wait a sec.

Got any Draymond Green kick in the nuts jokes to go with?

I’m far more offended by millionaire Samuel L. Jackson shilling for Capital One credit cards in tv ads.

Followed by tears.

What do you expect from the party of “Freedom!”

Let’s not do any of that and raise your taxes anyway.

When I encounter someone who seems really fucking adult, it makes me feel better to think to myself that the person is simply good at acting like they’re adult. Like serious business guys in suits and stuff, I just think “you may think you’re all ultra-adult and shit but you’re the ones wearing the costumes around,…

Reminds me of another classic scene with Natalie Portman, in ‘V for Vendetta’ when her character says something like “I always wanted to be an actress”... that got a right good guffaw from me and my pals, and then other people around us proceeded to join in. It was a serious moment in the movie. We were such dicks.

As this Senator is doing, expecting that such a demand would embarass or constrain Trump in any way.

He will come to me and I will scoff in his face and make him eat Goldfish crackers off the floor to prove his worth. I will give him the lowest paying job and then force him to watch as I buy and demolish his once loved bar.

Depressions and World Wars may be making a comeback real soon, you know.

I don’t trust most of the Women’s March participants to show up again. I don’t trust the resolve of their concern.