What’s the point of this system if it makes almost everyone miserable?

Great. So everyone, just pick up a Tesla.

When I went to Home Depot for the same thing it took over 20 minutes for them to find it. Just sayin.

I don’t know what’s worse, that a teacher said that to a student or that it has 25 stars. We’ve all not done our homework at one point or other, did we also all deserve to be humiliated like that in front of the entire class?

You forgot the "REMEMBER EVERY DAY THAT IT'S FUCKING AWESOME" in massive letters at the top.

the fantasy that flashed before my eyes at that point: to grab her by the back of her barrette-riddled bun and slam her troll-fucking face into my host stand between 1 and 4 times.

Or simply like Aerosmith still playing at all.

No one goes out the house anymore, don’t worry.

I want to be in compliance. I was thinking we could take care of it right here, in Brainerd.

Til they can somehow trick your brain to make you feel like you’re actually grasping the boobs (and the rest), this stuff seems kinda pointless.

Bardem was terrible to boot.

I meant, probably not the best place to be expecting anything resembling a “deal”.

Stick your fingers

“a restaurant across the bus drop off at Disneyland”

Close enough.

I'm into this 'buying the party' idea. Can we get a Kickstarter going?

No duets with Cat Power either.

Worst excuse she thought was bullshit, but was real:

He a Shakespeare!

Or you could just...