Here I thought they were going to advocate making a list of things you never want to do or go to. "Small childrens' birthday parties", for example.

Never found that Wayne shit very amusing after SNL wore it into the ground when it began, so no thanks. Good line though.

Nope.

Minus the pralines.

This should be required reading for graduating college students. Or even high school students.

Nothing good is going to come of anything when the guy in question is described as "Bacon Croissant Guy"

It's got nothing whatsoever to do with "classism".

New to the internet, are you?

Total dick move.

Fuck, I'm gonna miss The Colbert Report... this line of questioning Colbert does as this character especially.

Don't Mess With Texas-Style Assholes.

My dad is the same way. We got him the DVDs of I and II years ago and he has never opened them, but if they're on TV (with commercials), he'll watch it every time.

Have you tried NasiVent? They've helped me a lot. Stocking (and nose) stuffer!

Don't give any client 2 dozen designs (unless they specifically hire you and say they want 2 dozen designs to pick from — and charge accordingly if you still want to work for them, though a request for 2 dozen designs is a massive red flag). Agree ahead of time with a written agreement or contract to give them 2 or 3…

"Let's talk when you're free" doesn't mean what it says. It means "Make some time to talk to me".

Look into getting some Food Grade Hydrogen Peroxide and creating a nasal spray from it. It really helped my nasal blockage issues.

Wait, what? I can just cruise through a DUI checkpoint when it's my turn to pull up to the front position? Something tells me I shouldn't try this.

I tried telling a friend of mine this during last nights Royals game

...and your coffee was way better.

The whole point of baseball is that it takes forever, which is relaxing. Less time = less relaxing and less beers. I veto these rules. VETO!