Why in the holy hell would you put a professional poker player on your economics team? Oh wait, being a walking orange nightmare is why.

Sun sleeves help prevent damage on that arm and are like me and forget to put sunscreen on in the morning.

Or just don’t be white. Having more melanin in your skin is like having automatic sun protection.There’s a reason why “black don’t crack” is a thing.

Greatest scene from a fantastic show.

Have you seen this? If Barack Obama Were Your Dad

Seeing oblivious white men talking about how they’ve been disenfranchised because their fave didn’t win has been ENRAGING.

They are weak tea. The Bernie Bros promised millions of them would converge on Philly to protest the nomination. So far, it’s barely hundreds. I’m pretty sure the pro-union and BLM protests are bigger.

Women and minorities have been dutifully pulling the lever for white men for decades (when they were allowed to at all) and you never heard from them even a fraction of the hysterics that Sanders supporters have been displaying during the DNC because they didn’t get their #1 choice.

Donald Trump is the Witch King of Angmar. No man can slay him, as the Republican primaries have made clear.

Perez is great but he has barely any electoral experience. He’s still young though so there’s time for him to build his resume

Actually, President Obama was very much involved in the Veepstakes. Kaine was a favorite of his.

Kaine was also thoroughly vetted back in 2008 when he was on Obama’s VP shortlist. The last thing Clinton needs is an October surprise from her running mate.

Forget Trump’s oompa-loompa makeup. He desperately needs someone who can get his weave in order.

I’d quietly sprinkle a wee bit of glitter into their hair. Just enough to give them fairy dandruff for a few weeks.

It’s really odd. How can you require people you don’t actually employ in any capacity to adhere to a dress code? Some rando political blogger or newspaper photographer wearing cargo shorts or a tank top doesn’t reflect on the RNC or Trump at all.

That’s a good point. Though I still question his omission of any interviews with Congolese people.

I dunno. This is the same guy who wrote a doctoral dissertation about colonial-era education policy in the Democratic Republic of Congo without ever going to that country (though he made time for a trip to Belgium):

You’re right. This is just a start so debtors can get some relief. I’m sure Clinton has seen the reports from economists that point out how an entire generation is not buying homes, starting businesses, or marrying and having families because of student debt. You’ve got to unstick that wheel first.

Makes sense. Catnip is in the mint family.

OMG. That does it—2016 is officially the year that made The Onion irrelevant.