i feel like i’d get stressed — one time i was high at a giant crawfish boil in new orleans and i got so scared of all the eating work that i just ate ears of corn

I’LL SHOW HIM MY WIKILEAKS

What if they were nudes of my cat, sans collar?

I think it’s a balancing act. From an epidemiological standpoint it’s not even debatable that fewer partners is less risky. The problem is when it gets communicated that the number of partners says something about your worth as a person.

It’s the Center of Disease Control. From a purely disease control standpoint, yes, fewer partners means less risk on a general, epidemiological level.

There I upworthy the title for you.

There’s a 0% chance these guys are not aspiring Christian vloggers.

It sounds like the name of an Outlet Mall.

Ok so I don’t get too personal I here so bear with me:

I’m about to sit down to three tacos right now. In one meal. Carne asada with onion, cilantro, and fresh-squeezed lime juice.

Yo Jezzies. I’m drinking hot chocolate (I plan on moving to wine later) and watching Sons of Anarchy-my new binge watch show. I also finally saw The Force Awakens today and loved it-Abrams did good.

That’s great! Junk food and drinking are what’s holding me back currently as well, so here’s to both of us making better choices in the long-run :)

How does one gain confidence? I would like that to be my New Years resolution; be confident in myself. I feel I’m an accomplished young lady and I keep trying to better myself, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed by life and its seemingly endless difficulties. I think I’d be relieved not to go through it anymore. My…

id like to go to the gym 2x a week and eat just a bit better. not lofty goals, doable.

My optimistic hope for this year is that I get a little closer to my family. It’s been 5 years since they disowned me, and the past two months one of my sisters has been visiting me. Having one sibling would be amazing.

Resolution: hold myself accountable for my bullshit. That means staying single, spending less money, and doing that much-touted self-improvement I told myself I would get to later. After too many years, getting by = drowning.

I have a second-round job interview (campus visit) a week from today, complete with giving a presentation! I’ve never had a job interview this serious before! I’m working on the presentation now while watching LOTR and eating discounted Christmas candy (Reese’s Trees, nom). Happy New Year, all!!

I got a very nice Christmas present in the form of a promotion away from a seriously toxic boss. My resolution is to not permit myself to be mistreated in the new office.

This one haunts me in a poignant way, as it captures the precise moment that the terrible hopelessness of our collective existence dawned on Phone Girl, a realization that expresses itself in her vast, searching glare. As well as her vast, searching décolletage.

Is this the Michael Cera you are looking for