I’ve only watched the show intermittently, so I don’t know from what I’ve seen, but have they ever actually had a gay couple on the show as clients?

I’m seriously wondering how much damage I’ll do to my liver if I stay in a drunken stupor for the next four years. Every announcement since the baboon has been “elected” makes the prospect even more tempting.  

2016 can suck my left one.

Speaking of crappy business plans, how is Shop Jeen doing with that relaunch?

Okay, um. This was from a year ago. If you were stewing that long, you have other things to worry about.

Wonder how his hip hop career went?

Randomly, I saw blond Vegas binge drinking girl in a solo porno shot in the backseat of a fake Vegas cab. I couldn’t watch it, because it was sad.

I keep waiting for the fiery pit of sulphur and brimstone to open up and swallow her whole, but it never happens. It’s making me doubt all the semi-Satan worshiping I did as a teenager.

Dear Good Lord in Heaven, thank you for answering my prayers!

Pete is without a doubt one of my favorite sportswriters. Always consistently quality. Plus, his Twitter feed is hilarious.

Outright lies. Seltzer water is amazing when it’s ice cold.

This is the kind of rhetoric that got Gabby Giffords shot and several people dead, including a child.

Elvis’ granddaughter is down for the cause. How cool!

I’m glad someone else thinks they are both worthless. She can take him back to The Hills, thank you very much.

Huh. It was all over my Faebook feed a few days ago, and I was definitely

I would’ve rather kept Urlacher than Cutler. Just my opinion.

Not that it’s an excuse, but the Bears/Cubs/Sox/Hawks are a lifestyle choice in Chicago. Why else would anyone in the Midwest give two shits about Kristin Cavallari other than she’s married to Jay Cutler? (although, to be fair, I’m not sure why in the hell anyone gives a shit about Cutler, because he’s a REALLY…

Wait. People who have never been poor actually choose to eat ramen noodles?

What’s the alternative? Cutoffs (aka jorts) that bring out the rednecks? Basketball shorts in which men think they can free ball (no one wants to see that)? Or the Bermuda-esque ones that make most young guys look like Young Republicans for Nixon on their way to the regatta?

Yeah no... It’s just going to slide out of your hands and leave grossness. Unless you’re supposed to eat it like a heathen with a knife and fork?