Oh god, the autoplay! All three at once? I thought we were friends?!

in my experience, the period indicates the sender is not so much “less sincere” as “more old”

goddamnit how do people meet celebrities! and then convince the celebrity to have sex with them! how does one find harry styles and make him fall in love with oneself and one’s vagina!

Doesn’t matter. They give out a Nobel for economics every year. There are lots of Nobel-winning economists, but he specifically told her to go ask the one that is her husband. There is a whole long history of women not being allowed to do anything without the permission of their husbands. THAT is why this is a deeply…

It’s specifically because he told her to consult her husband that it’s patronizing.

I’m still going with the “no one actually thought he had a bomb” theory. Seriously, if they thought it was a bomb the clock would have been left in the classroom, the entire school would have been evacuated, and the bomb squad would have come in to detonate it. Instead they send this poor kid to the office with his…

The only problem is they will shut down every academic program (except for the football team and cheerleading squad) to pay for this, and then blame that uppity terrorist Jesus-hating kid from Obamastan.

I feel like this kid is Kony 2012ing us

i might be wrong

but i already learned my lesson and have an embarrasing tshirt that I’ll never wear in public so

Happy, jealous, same thing. **I’m half joking, but half serious. They look really happy and in love. She didn’t wait for the People magazine spread. Fuck that, she posted that shit on Instagram for the world to see. Good on you girl. If I were marrying him and looked like her, my Instagram would chronicle every second…

She managed to find her equal, I think.

Given everything that asswipe of an ex put her through she can post obnoxious pictures of this wedding forever as far as I’m concerned.

I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR THEM.

Old people.

I work for an order of nuns. I am not Catholic but I can say, it definitely depends on the type of order. The Sisters I work for are service-oriented (not cloistered), and they were thrilled to let go of the habit and the religious names as soon as Vatican II happened. The only way you know they’re Sisters now if you…

Text message: the new Post-It?

To be fair, the complaint is perfectly valid. I’d want a fucking straw too, though I wouldn’t drive down there and scare the employees to get one.

Let’s all make a promise that when/if we become famous, we will all be Kevin Smith Famous.

The Kevin Smith story is terrific, and totally appropriate for the guy who made “Clerks.” “But you people weren’t even supposed to BE here past 10:00!”

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

This is only tangentially a food story, but it ends up in a Starbucks, so there you go.