That’s kind of nice. Is that some sort of blackout package that causes the headlight to also be black? I will be finding out in just a minute.

You mean the stock chrome wheels?

I have also been working on my Ek for some time. But I’ve been searching for EDM parts. Still a shame to see a car rot away in a parking lot.

Who doesn’t love the 6th gen hatchbacks. I’ve been working on mine for the past 2 years. Slowly getting there.

Yeah anyone who would actually do it has huge life issues. Much like the guy who is vilifying me in the comments as if I’m teaching it to school children.

Humorous that you would accuse me of habitual belittling when you called me an asshole in the third word of your initial response.

Again, turning my hypothetical into supposed advice. You’re exhausting. I’m sure you’re a joy at cocktail parties. Some random person: “so then I got so scared I jumped through the roof.” You: “You’re a liar. You would be severely injured jumping through a roof and plus, no human can actually jump that high.” Random…

This whole column is about what to do if you’re ever caught driving after drinking. Don’t try to twist this like I created some monster. And if anyone is taking real life advice from a random non-sports related post on deadspin, they are more lost than any of us can help. So save your paternalistic “think twice”…