Little orange jumper

That’s like the time that my dad sued his tailor for selling him a pair of slacks with a broken zipper.

He picked it up at the store. Mom and my nephew walked down there every day and Mom would chit chat with the store owners. Kid also casually mentioned that “Victor is an asshole” one day out of the clear blue sky. Apparently he meant Victor Kiriakis and he was not wrong with his assessment.

Not that I expect Jezebel (or anywhere else on this planet, for that matter) to be a haven for BASEketball fans, but I feel compelled to post:

Then I got hammered the next day and forgot to put it away. Ice Cream cakes are bad.

Got hammered once and woke up with this in my freezer.

The Child Catcher at least had a great milliner. I can’t find a kind word for Krauthammer.

Certain sea slugs excrete mixture of hydrochloric and sulfuric acid. Clearly this should be expected to wash off when Bannon takes his annual bath.

He was making acid wash jeans.

Goddamit Florida. Just do the meth and eat the ravenous pigs.

There’s a recipe for armadillo that requires a nice cedar plank. You clean and place the armadillo meat on that plank and then spice the hell out of it. Stick the meat and the plank on the grill for about 4 hours, take it out of the fire, place the armadillo carefully in the trash can and eat the board.

Drew, get yourself a Pinterest account but be warned: my husband and I trade pins like a Honey Do list. “Doesn’t this recipe look good?” “Yeah, well doesn’t this reclaimed barn wood shelving look easy, fuckface?”

Do they not have tacos in Argentina?

These memoranda really are worst-case scenarios. Under these changes, people whose only “crime” was to be arrested for disorderly conduct will be considered an enforcement priority, even if the charges were dismissed. As much as people who oppose undocumented immigrants don’t want to admit it, our immigration…

we were rooting for her WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR HER

Funny thing...my family (who are all born again Christians) have the tact NEVER to say this to me. “Corgis, aren’t you glad you’re here with us and not dead in a dumpster?”

God, remember back when we all thought she was just the battiest goddamned thing to ever come out of politics, and how it was amazing someone that unprepared for office was anywhere even near the presidency?

Too bad we’ve let the terrorists win.

Anthony Weiner not being dead in a ditch or renditioned to a black site in Yemen is proof that Hillary ain’t killed nobody.