Keep your nose stuck in your book. Or maybe stop calling them “provincial” to their faces.

I just wish whoever was watching Baywatch would fess up. I just want to know who got that on my queue.

I’m “the owner”.. It was great sharing the car with the Jalopnik crew! If anyone has any specific questions I’ll keep an eye out here.

Grilled brie owns my soul.

He’ll be back. He’s just taking time out to finish his CPA so that he has a “fallback career” if his “little music thing” doesn’t work out, on account of pressure from his dad, Big Uzi.

Yeah, I liked Colbert better back when he only pretended to be a partisan hack.

Is it just me, or is basically every sentence of this piece excruciating to read?

How many more titles can they fit after the model name?

After reading this, I’m exhausted.

Exactly. The only people who would ask why are masochists and those who have never owned a German car.

why? that’s easy.

The whitest thing about that video is that after a gun appears in the club AND goes off AND someone is hit by the bullet, no one in the video scrambles for the door. Only one guy felt the urge to GTFO of there, and he just sort of walked away at the speed someone uses when heading to their airport terminal when they…

You know how people keep complaining about having their comments grayed?

He looks lost and confused. Would not be surprised if he had dementia. God I hope I don’t go out like this.

No, if you just have to own a Mustang II, go for the Ghia version. Pretend luxury isn’t as offensive as fake performance.

Or, “How to Watch Rich White People Pander to Poor Minorities for Votes”.

‘40s Mopars had many qualities, but beauty isn’t necessarily one of them, IMHO.

My 360 red rings, they sent me a refurbished one, which I later determined had a wobbling disk drive. Before I realized that it was scratching up my CD’s about 5 or 6 of them became unusable and would crash. It made me quit tales of vesparia because I couldn’t get past a point in the game without it dieing. All in…

awesome! Especially considering I never did this in the first place. I always thought it was absurd to wash my garbage.