I really blew an audition once when we were supposed to be doing funny improv’ed banter and I was asked what movies would be terrible musicals.

All this criticism of Sam Bradford as being selfish and a bad mentor has been so unfair. I mean as you can see here, he’s been teaching Wentz everything he knows.

If that’s true, your boss is an asshole... but still very funny.

Jesus, I saw one of those “2 chicks, 1 cube” videos. Never again.

But go ahead and dip your penis in company vagina

It’s just a little burnt! It’s still good! It’s still good!

I’m not super clear on Canadian football rules. Does he have to say sorry to the opposing team now?

It’s popular among a certain segment of establishment-wary liberals to say that it’s not that vaccines are unsafe, necessarily, but that the Food and Drug Administration oversees them The FDA and other federal regulatory agencies can’t be fully trusted, that argument goes, and so vaccine safety is called into…

The kid’s lucky. Zack Hample would have elbowed his throat for one of those gloves.

Aw man. I suck. Well, I’ll just go fuck myself then.

Not a big fan of reading, are ya?

“What I can confirm is that we did arrest a current NBA basketball player this weekend and he was arrested for assault. That’s all we’re confirming right now.”

Say what you want about Georgios Papagiannis, but he did a hell of a great job raising Webster after his parents were killed.

I fucking lost it at this block. I was falling back like an And 1 mixtape entourage.

From left to right: Tucker,Brantley, Bryce,Kevin, Asher, and Dang.

The only good reason for the ‘backward on the back of your head’ option for sunglasses is so, if a brawl breaks out, you know exactly who to punch square in the fucking face first.

The man is throwing children over 16 foot fences into yards and garages? He’s throwing children AT children in sandboxes?

“Get to a trunk of a car, Steve! Any car will do.”

Is that John Voight’s car?

Said Briles: “Originally the University gave me two weeks to decide to resign, but in true Baylor fashion they decided to go ahead and fuck me whether they had my consent or not.”