“ ... 22 year old man”

I’m not arguing with all that you did, but you most decidedly were not pregnant. You made the bullets, she was on the front lines and fired the gum.

Picture it. Westwood. They meet at Diddy Reese. Not because they want cookies - although she will come back for some later, when the line isn’t so long - but because of the places she suggested, it’s the only one he knew.

I don’t think your example is applicable. It’s more like the person who made the ammo stateside. That person contributed to the war effort, but was not “fighting” the war.

Someone once tried to congratulate me for my wife’s pregnancy. The look on his face when I said, “What are you congratulating me for, all I did was cum in her.” was priceless.

Dating myself here, but I’d like to see Carol Burnett as the tutor, Tim Conway as the college student, and Harvey Korman as the maitre’d.

You weren’t carrying the baby and you didn’t give birth to it. You were just the errand boy, that’s not the same thing. Was this your first kid?Things went back to journal after the baby was born?

I see this as a reverse Pygmalian (My Fair Lady) sort of thing, just with a far less charming main character. I wonder if there is a wager involved?

Let him flunk, let him flunk, let him flunk. And then have to retake the class unless he deems it important enough to do his damn work.

That’s why you use the line, “they’re expecting a child.” Convenient and correct.

you know what else I have never done? babysat my own kid.

Needs a “woke-up call”?

I do wonder if this is some weird blind-date match-making thing going on, with his mother having good intentions but poor phrasing and execution.

Actually, that’s we’re parents. Men don’t get pregnant.

I can’t be the only one thinking this.

With some hard work and hands-on tutorials, I could probably help him through Intro to Queer Studies...

In your opinion, what is the worst common food allergy to have?

This is the only way to put your shit on the conveyor. All other ways are false.

A married couple we know recently got pregnant, and sent my wife and me an online survey to rank potential baby names.

In the checkout, cold things go with other cold things. Boxes go with other boxes. The stuff that can be broken and smushed needs to be bagged last. Whatever embarrassing thing I have to buy is hidden in the middle between the boxes and the milk/juice, so people don’t realize my shame.