Yes. This is the good stuff. More of this.

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

And people laughed at me for not dropping him from my fantasy team.

What’s he been doing in the past year? Apparently this...

That last sentence. Those recommended stories. Cruel.

Furiously downloading the SeekingArrangement app.

Probably because people don’t like the idea of someone throwing a wet slippery ball 95mph in their general direction.

Accounting for reaction time and looking up the whole time while tracking a ball that is curving, yes, you jackass.

5 seconds to see the ball come off the bat, decide where it is going, start running, and get there before the ball lands? Yes, that’s good.

Does it account for player ability? My guess is that McCutchen’s chance of making that play is about -513.7%.

What kind of professional athlete doesn’t have the conditioning necessary to run 270 feet without being out of breath for half an hour afterward?

That should help quiet the PED rumors.

alternate rule: angel hernandez stops being an umpire.

They should also get zero ejections when they just so happen to hear one complaint. Like, if everyone in the stadium is all, “who the fuck just got ejected?” then maybe, just maybe, the argument wasn’t affecting the game and no one’s authority was being usurped.

New rule: Umpires get zero. You get zero ejections a year where you get to send somebody packing for saying some wild shit to you. You can still eject a pitcher for headhunting, and if a player is delaying the game and continues to jaw after a warning, then you can toss him, but no more pretending you’re the big…

To be fair, 90% of Mets fans and probably a third of the players hate the Mets.

Call me a giant asshole for being a Bulls fan, but this was our best game all season.

“I’m not dead” sounds like something a dead person would say

the best part about the cleveland browns is we all eventually die

That is by far the funniest thing Larry the Cable Guy has done.